In Bolehland, some from the government-controlled media are like Santa's little helpers. If fairytale tradition follows, a few of these elves would be sporting shiny long noses for not only failing to call a spade a spade, but passing it off as a magic wand. Looking back on some happenings that impacted adversely on the public, I'd say the Keris and Make Up episode is possibly this year's gravest insult to our collective intelligence.

The keris has come to be waved at Umno Youth's gatherings akin to a calling card. It was reportedly thrust into yellow pulut on one occasion. But instead of clearly labelling the gesture as offensive, the wing's unabashed apologists in the mass media would have you believe that the party's preferred symbol is as harmless as a fruit peeler. As if the Youth chief, brandishing that crooked blade with mouth agape and 'fire in his eyes', is innocuously inviting us one and all: "Here have a bowl of salad on Datuk Hisham".

Education Minister Hishammuddin Hussein makes a remarkable role model indeed. Mat Rempit wannabes carrying dangerous weapons to school can point to the Minister's own fine example. His deputy in the Education Ministry Noh Omar stabbed the air with his finger (no keris allowed in the august House?) and raised his voice (presumably with fire in his eyes as well) at Opposition Parliamentarians for bringing up the issue. If only the duo could be equally fired up about improving the dismal standards in national schools.

And what telling life lessons these two men at the apex of the country's education system have imparted. The schoolyard bully can strut around like a cock of the walk and rest assured the timid water carrier trailing four steps behind him will intone, "I see the light now after your 'explanation', O First among Equals". Never mind that the oh-so-compliant weakling has just been socked in the eye.

Welcome to 1984

In certain instances, the licensed media's sins of commission and omission stemmed from obedience to its owners and political masters. Editors were directed to downplay public disaffection over administration policies that caused Joe Public to tighten his belt a few notches this year alone. Street protests were not reported because of official blackout cue journalism on open display.

Upon instructions to ramp up the charm offensive, the media monopoly rolled out battalions of feel-good stories. Foremost in this enterprise is the personality cult; the Doublespeak mantra being that Abdullah Ahmad Badawi is prime minister for all Malaysians. In fact, it was nausea induced by this ritual of leader worship which prompted my very first contribution to malaysiakini in end-December 2003.

In a lead letter, I observed how under Mahathir's tenure there was no one single day in which a resident of this country could get away from seeing his image projected Big Brother-fashion everywhere. And like an Orwellian nightmare for me, the dark lord's shadow loomed long and large at that annual affair of his party's tiresome tribal drumbeating.

At the time of my writing in 2003, and commenting on a just released global survey that ranked Malaysian journalists low on integrity, Mahathir had come away fresh from a hero's send-off. The local Press unanimously feted the retiring PM as God's gift to our nation, and slavishly lamented the rakyat's great and irreplaceable loss with his departure from office.

It was, to borrow from Dickens, the best of times and the worst of times. Finally, a long overdue respite from The Sneer a facial expression etched with Mount Rushmore timelessness on Mahathir's visage.

But it was also a period when those who could afford it would do well to holiday abroad. Just to get away from the heavens in Bolehland that was raining purple prose. My limited research from examining the front pages of four establishment newspapers over 10 days in late October documented to what extent (sky-high praise, predictably) the mainstream media lavished its accolades on Mahathir.

The New Straits Times , The Star , Utusan Malaysia and Berita Harian had devoted 80 percent of their page one banner headlines to Mahathir. Out of a possible 39 articles (10 days multiplied by four publications minus one [ The Star did not publish on Deepavali]), 31 chimed with what Mahathir said and did. That's enough column inches to stitch the emperor a set of new clothes.

In retrospect, the hypocrisy of the Malaysian Press is patent given their reverse take on Mahathir nowadays, within the short span of two-plus years. Like lalang bending in the direction of the wind, this public service network shifted allegiances without even missing a beat and is happily hailing the current Big Chief.

Highway to Money Heaven

When the government has beforehand dictated the cast of coverage, the media colluding with it seems too willing to sell us a basket of old chestnuts. On the toll hikes to take effect from Jan 1, 2007: "Toll rates in Malaysia are one of the cheapest in the world, with PLUS charging an average of 13.6 sen per km, compared with 35.57 sen per km in the Philippines, 27.62 sen in China, 22.76 sen in Thailand and 14.8 sen in Indonesia."

The recurring phenomenon that is the federal cabinet trotting out this fallacy of 'cheapest price' never fails to astound me. Since the rates have been converted from their original currencies into sen, whatever surface implications the data infer are negated. It's like Works Minister S Samy Vellu is saying the value of a book is RM60 (after currency exchange) when buyers pay $15 in bookshops in the US. But Samy insists American consumers feel the pinch of a presumed $60 (dollar, not ringgit) cost.

A dollar-to-dollar comparison is more meaningful and reflective of true costs. Or instead of comparing down, how about comparing up for a change with stronger currencies? Or citing the autobahns of Germany where I didn't pay a cent on a drive from north to south to centre of that country.

Yet our state-endorsed news outlets have in their editorials supported the government as having kept its promises, after blithely reporting on the 'no hike' announcements in September 2005 and March 2006. Those phony assurances, to prove to us the kindness of the government's heart, were emphatically non-events because in actuality none of the concessionaires' agreements were yet up for review. Until now

Cue journalism only smacks of disrespect for the reader's IQ. We are to be convinced the price hikes are justified, the rates affordable and value for money, and we are furthermore subjected to echoes of Samy exhorting consumers to pay for the facilities we use. And hey, look on the bright side people now get the opportunity to buy houses and shops newly built along these highways.

Missing are the probing questions on the terms of the secret agreements, the packages upon packages of compensation as well as subsidies to the toll operators. While our Semua Boleh media, as a diversion, are 'extolling' how good life is here and now, what I'd like to know is whether we go into the record books as the most tolled country in the world?

A further dereliction of duty apart from its role as ventriloquist dummy channeling the Executive voice is the traditional print media's failure to convey even a faint sense of the arrogance displayed by Samy at his press conference announcing the toll hikes.

His condescending words and provocative attitude is in total disregard for commuters who have to dig deeper into their pockets after enduring the steep and successive petrol price rises and increased tariff on utilities.

These glad tidings which close 2006 are another example of polarisation in our Two Tribes society. This though is a classic class divide. Whether non-bumiputera or otherwise, the hikes translate into increased expenditure that will affect all to whom the spiralling cost of living has become an increasingly huge burden. Then there are the rich and shameless Zakaria types, who will find paying a fistful of ringgit to be throwing away loose change.

Lest we forget

So this is my two cents worth then on the 2006 wrap-up, with the aim of reinforcing readers' memory. I'm registering my dissent as I believe the keris-spinners should not be allowed a blank cheque to frame the discourse or ink their version for posterity.

This year's sudden about-face by local media in its portrayal of Mahathir, coming after 22 years of mind-numbing fawning, only serves to distill the Boleh newsroom culture of there being no permanent demigods, or immanent truths. It's only from a timeline that we can with hindsight and a moral obligation to consistency obtain a perspective on where things stand.

Hishammuddin has promised his beloved big stick will make a re-appearance next year. If it does, it's a kick in the behind for civil society after the recent slap on the right cheek following an earlier slap on the left last year.

The year-end message I wish to underscore is that human memory is too precious a gift to waste. If we do not remember, we will be trapped in Groundhog Day, where dj vu is experienced over and over without any break in sight to the repetitive chain of events.

Furthermore, the future for us beleaguered Bolehlanders lies on a platform of shared ideas and ideals. Apart from the Chinese punching bags, many Malays and other races also found the posturing by Hisham, Khairy and Co. unacceptable. How national interest, which binds us all irrespective of race, is being derailed by this Umno Gang is acutely our common concern.

There are still those who do not hold the recent high jinks as requiring censure despite the clear and present danger posited by the Umno groupthink beamed live into their living rooms. These are the complacent folks who will refuse to acknowledge that the amount of damage-control spin invested on the keris has made it resemble a veritable cock-screw, not a royal ceremonial implement.

But having glimpsed what really goes on behind the ruling party's closed doors, wavering Malaysians must finally admit, in all honesty if only to their own conscience, that 2006 marks the end of the innocence.

The Z Sunday column turned one this month and this is my last article for the year. Feedback from readers to z.sunday@yahoo.com is welcome.