Like any Malaysian, I have a simple choice.

I can work to make my country a better place as best I know how, or I can leave things to run their course.

Perhaps things will turn out fine with or without any contribution from me; or perhaps the popular notion that no one has the ability to change Malaysia for the better is true, and nothing I ever do could possibly have any significant impact whatsoever.

How can we objectively determine whether Malaysia is worth fighting for, or whether it is a burning ship, bound to rot at the bottom of the ocean?

The simple answer is we can't.

Commentators and analysts predict the future at great length, but if any one of them had any significant track record of accuracy, they would be very rich fortune tellers, and not political pundits.

So if no one can accurately tell me whether my country as the potential to change for the better, how do I know that working for it is worth my time and energy?

Again, I don't.

Leading change

I have learnt however, that while cynics despair of positive change, leaders don't speculate about the future, they shape it.

To a cynic, existing reality is but the shackles by which they are eternally bound. To leaders, reality is nothing but clay waiting to be moulded.

We can choose to be cynics, and fester in indulgent despair; or we can choose to have vision, and stop at nothing to make that vision a reality.

What does a cynic stand to gain? The right to laugh at the naivet of those with aspirations, and one day stand smugly atop a heap of rot and failure? The ability to cackle from a distant land and deride those who stayed behind in the hopes of making their home a better place?

Sounds like a poor deal to me.

I choose to believe in a better Malaysian future because it gives my life as a citizen meaning. Because some things are worth fighting for, regardless of what some say the odds are.

If those who fought to end colonial rule in India or institutionalised racism in America paid heed to the 'odds,' schools in America would likely still be segregated, and the sun might still never set over the British Empire.

Cynics might point to vastly different existing social ingredients, or nitpick at why such models would 'never work' in Malaysia. Yet, how far did foreign models or past examples play a part in the revolutions brought about by these social movements?

Change and leadership is about breaking ground, and about staying faithful to a vision that we know in our hearts to be good. The rest is all secondary.

Being the Malaysian Public

One may think that apathy has taken too deep a hold amidst Malaysians for any social movement to gain critical mass.

I myself grew up in a social class amongst which apathy is probably most rampant (English speaking, overseas educated, non-Malay, etc...). Some say this is because people in this class are too busy trying to make a buck the magic ticket that gives one the ability to ignore politics, and safely migrate someday if need be.

I am not presently making as much as many of my peers, and I do worry incessantly about providing for any future children, or being truly financially independent.

Still, I cannot be held hostage forever to these fears, and I'm not ready to start making escape plans not without a fight, anyway. There may come a day when I have nothing left to give, but it hasn't arrived yet, and I do invite all cynics to come and gloat if ever it does. Until then, if I am but one of only three hundred who march to their doom, then so be it.

I press on with faith in my fellow Malaysians because in exactly the same way racism and corruption need not be eternally embedded in Malaysian society, societal apathy is not some immutable fact of Malaysian life (unless you're a cynic).

Passion is contagious, and I've seen a lot of it. Some do not believe that it'll never spread or take hold, but that's alright. Those who do are exactly the kind of Malaysians who will make progress a reality.

I also think it is counter-productive to speculate on the behaviour of the 'Malaysian public' as if it were some sort of distant variable. You (the reader) and I are the Malaysian public.

The Malaysian public is only what you and I decide to be it is not some objective other that is divorced from our personal lives. You and I, and no one else, decide how apathetic, racist or corrupt we are; you and I alone will decide if Malaysia can change for the better.

Constructing criticism

Many more criticise activists for not having real roadmaps or concrete strategies for affecting change. A minority of these are set in their conclusions and would not be open to or satisfied with any answer we gave. Others are more sincere, and genuinely wish we would spend more of our resources writing detailed policy papers and the like.

Those who would like to see more policy papers should write them you'd be surprised how receptive activist groups would be to such efforts. This holds true in general: that organisations for change are eminently open to being driven and directed from the inside; step up, and help correct all the wrongs that you see.

I believe that the collective wisdom of those who have spent their lives advocating generally change outweighs that of those criticising only from the outside, or from limited interaction. This of course, is only what I believe; you'll have to choose your own heroes for yourself.

It is sometimes said that these activists and organisations are in a state of disarray, that their lack of success thus far only shows that they can barely tell their heads from their toes.

I'll be the first to admit that these organisations are imperfect; if you see flaws in them, you can either work to improve these flaws, or you can merely look for ever more 'eloquent' ways to highlight them cursing the darkness where you could instead light candles.

Critics who sincerely want to see improvement in organised efforts for change (and, of course, are willing to be a part of that improvement) will always find willing ears mine, at the very least.

I do invite you to take your involvement even further and see firsthand what kind of difference you can make from inside. Don't knock it 'till you've tried it.

Contented hearts

It really comes down to what kind of life you want to lead. Whether you intend to wait like vultures on the sideline to laugh every time someone carrying a burden falls, or whether (to plagiarise Mahatma) you intend to be the change you wish to see in the world.

"And I know, if I only be true, to this glorious quest,

That my heart, will lie peaceful and calm, when I'm laid to my rest"

These lines come from a musical adaptation of Don Quixote perhaps literature's most potent lightning rod of ridicule.

I can't say I see myself as being on some glorious quest, but I know that if I became a cynic who lambasted others while refusing to either help those working for change or start some new progressive initiative of my own, I would indeed live in absolute dread of how my heart will lie when I'm laid to rest.

To paraphrase Yoda: give off light, or give off darkness, but choose.

Walk with us, work with us, and hope with us. Change is really never that far away all you need is a little faith.

NATHANIEL TAN graduated from a bastion of 'intellectualism' and plays to win. He can be reached at nat@jelas.info, but apologises if he is unable to respond to every comment.