LETTER | A nit-picker is a person who finds fault, however small or unimportant, everywhere they look. After seeing a movie, a nit-picker lists every tiny thing he or she didn't like about it.

Use the informal term when talking about someone who is extremely critical, even when those criticisms seem inconsequential. If you can always find something to complain about, you're probably one. 

This word from the 1950s comes from the idea of literally picking nits (or lice eggs) out of someone's hair. A nit-picker is as careful and meticulous about finding faults as a literal nit-picker would be about finding each tiny nit.

Human beings are social animals and the ability to develop relationships has evolved us into family, society and nation. Nowadays due to the widespread presence of information technology, the world has become a global village.

The development within the field of science has increased the opportunity to know and develop a relationship with people from around the world. However, no matter how much humanity has developed on a scientific level, the good thing is that the basic principle of understanding, patience and mutual respect to form a relationship is still the same.

In other words, you cannot have a successful relationship by keeping your focus on the faults of other people. Understanding and respecting others are needed to develop a healthy relationship as it is nurtured in this way. 

Since people are not perfect, finding the fault of others is very easy but to have good relations we need to focus on other people's merits instead of nit-picking as it is the surest way to attract unhappiness in life.

By finding fault in others you feel temporarily superior but that is not going to help you in the long run. The habit will only cause severe damage to your relationships and in turn, bring frustration. 

Whatever fault you are finding in others is always based on your projection of right and wrong, proper or improper, acceptable and unacceptable and because of that, it cannot be the ultimate truth.

On the other hand, by keeping your focus on positive aspects of people, you will have a lot to gain and nothing to lose. So if you want to be happy, accept people as they are. 

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of Malaysiakini.