I almost fell out of my chair like a terrestrial Martian out of a spacecraft when I read that a recent study showed that Malaysians enjoy a high standard of living and a comfortable and happy life . I was wondering whether those families (respondents) are in fact staying in the deep and secluded unexplored Malaysian jungles untouched by the 'sins' of modern living. Let me illustrate with this scenario.

Rationally, in the dense jungle, there are no roads, highways and of course, cars and traffic congestion are unheard of. All families will not grieve over deaths caused by accidents. They do not need to participate in a 'snap, send and win' contest to capture traffic violators in photographs. They will also send the JPJ 'road spies' into unemployment and toll concessionaires out of business since there are is no vehicular traffic. The slogan, 'Every six minutes, one person is hospitalised due to road accidents' certainly will not apply along the deep jungle paths.

Economic evils like inflation will not exist as food will either be grown or caught free of charge, naturally. Families do not have to face unethical business practices like overcharging, harmful agricultural food or livestock products laden with hazardous drugs. Deep jungle families can consume vegetables without pesticides, livestock without beta agonists or 'nitrofuran' (chicken feed causing lung, breast, skin and brain cancers).

Fishes caught in deep jungle streams and rivers do not contain 'formaldehyde' (preservative agent causing cancer, leukaemia, eye irritations and breathing difficulties). Everything is fresh for them.

Habitual snatch thieves (2005 total is 6,256 reported cases in urban towns) and drug addicts (2005 total is 235,000) will not survive in the jungle environment. Happy jungle residents do not contribute to the statistics of the 157,459 nationwide criminal cases reported in 2005 which has since escalated in 2006.

Cases of mental illnesses and suicides? 'What are those?' asked the jungle resident. "What is depression? HIV? Heart attacks? Diabetes and cancer? Child abuse? Divorce rates? Juvenile cases?"

And our total trade at RM1.06 trillion? They do not benefit from it. Robust manufacturing figures? What has it got to do with these jungle families? They are not the beneficiaries.

Cheated by housing developers? They build their own houses. The NEP policy? There is nothing to distribute there. Corruption? No cronyism, they do not face such matters in the deep jungles! No environmental and water pollution. Perhaps, only the haze visiting them unfailingly once a year, depending on the wind direction.

A load of rubbish? No, we do not need to conduct any study to show they are happy, comfortable families because they are truly happy and comfortable, untouched by the imbalanced negative forces of modern urban life. They are also blessed, harmonious and peaceful for not being bombarded by government propaganda. They do not need to lie either, because they do not need the services of politicians.

Where was the study made again? In the jungle?