I refer to the Malaysiakini report Something wrong about Syed Hamid .

Frankly, I do not envy Home Minister Syed Hamid Albar for the pickle he is in now regarding ‘murder by police she wrote’.

And it looks like it is not going to go away anytime soon, what with each additional statement he makes.

So to help him stay the course and cope with his present lot, I have done some research and have come out with the useful tried and tested suggestions listed below.

But the approach requires a very crucial ingredient - a pliant, obsequious press. I grant that finding one in Malaysia may prove a problem.

The first thing he has to say is that he was misquoted by the media and that he is willing to swear to that on any holy book.

He could add that such false accusations have obviously originated from the opposition and its lackey bloggers, all of whom are jealous of Umno's continued popularity as the government of the day.

He could then challenge his detractors by asking them whether Umno could still form the government were it not popular. When confronted by such surgical logic, his enemies are sure to fade away.

Next he can initiate saturation bombing of ‘This criminal named Kugan’, again through the mainstream media.

He could list the numerous crimes that Kugan may or was suspected to have committed, like not paying parking fees, speeding at 118 kph on the highways, and for not paying Indah Water for services they never rendered.

All in all, Kugan was not the innocent babe the bloggers and the Hindraf troublemakers are making him out to be. To lend flavour to these capital charges, he could include a photo of a 'Mat Rempit' car. It need not belong to Kugan.

Finally, if all else fails, he can reveal his two aces. He can inform the nation that all these attacks on him are actually attacks on the Malay leadership by people who wish to destroy the social contract agreed upon by everyone to protect the Malays and preserve their dominance over the other races.

Believe me, Syed Hamid, this last gambit is sure to work. At least it used to.