(The following incident was broadcast live over Malaysian vernacular radio airwaves recently baffling some listeners and entertaining others. No wonder video killed the radio star.)

"The mike (microphone) is off ! It is switched off!" shouted the male deejay presumably to his producer. From the background came the reply, " No ... listeners can still hear you".

"I have already switched off the mike ... I know I did and people cannot hear anything," shouted the deejay again.

"Stupid fellow, I am telling him the mike is off and he keeps repeating I didn't turn it off," said the deejay again, presumably to his fellow deejay.

"%$&*@ ... he still insists the microphone is switched on ... @#$**&," continued the deejay.

Then a mobile phone rings. The deejay answers it and says, "Oh! I didn't realise that. Must be some technical mistake."

Suddenly, things become very quiet. Then a whisper.

"So, will the viewers be able to hear us now," asks the other deejay quite frightfully. From the sound of bangles jingling in the background, one can assume, it was a lady.

"Yes ... I don't know what is the problem," replied her colleague in a very soft tone.

More mumbles are heard.

Sounds of paper being shuffled then come on air, followed by sounds of the deejays breathing. Still all is quiet.

Flurry of footsteps

Then, the sound of high heels walking about and someone whispering something. Barely audible, listeners hear someone saying softly, "... cut the mike". This was followed by some noise which sounded like someone sawing off a metal link.

Whatever the deejays did, it did not work and the male deejay asked for a knife. He then, presumably, tried to cut the wires of the microphone.

This was followed by an eerie silence which lasted for about three minutes. Then voices of the deejays wondering how to turn off the microphone and come on air again later (!)

Suddenly, the sound of a door opening. Then a flurry of footsteps, which quickly subsided as the newcomers realised their footsteps were being picked up by the microphone for the listening world outside.

More activities took place. Sounds of boards being moved, chairs being pushed aside and something being ripped open were heard. More work was being done in attempted silence.

Then, a lady in high heeled shoes walks in and asks very, very softly, "Can it be switched off?"

A technician must have then hit the right connection and the station just emitted static sound. Ten minutes later, much-needed soothing music came on the air and a couple of minutes later, the male deejay played a song as though absolutely nothing had occurred.

Smile!

The entire affair went on for about 30 minutes and the deejays said so many things which were unsuitable for broadcast, to say the least.

How is it possible that this incredible radio drama occurred in Malaysia? And dare not anyone suggest it was one of our government radio stations, hosted in Angkasapuri. Don't they have the benefit of the latest and up-to-date communications technology gadgets?

And besides aren't their deejays a courteous and professional lot who are more civil, even when the microphones were switched off?

Nonetheless to them, we say this: Remember, sometime, somewhere, when you least expect it, someone will come up to you and say ... smile! You're on candid camer...oops!...mike!

K KABILAN is malaysiakini 's chief reporter.