" Empat puloh dua !" (Forty-two!)

" Ya !" I respond immediately as I had been tutored during my orientation the day I checked in.

" Keluar !" (Get out!)

I haul my aching body up from the board that has been my bed these last three days. The padlock is unlocked with the now all too familiar loud clank and the door creaks open. I wobble out of my eight by nine feet windowless concrete cell that doubles as my sleeping quarters and extend my arms out in front of me.

The handcuffs are slapped onto my wrists and a blindfold - dark glasses painted over - are placed over my eyes. The guard leads me out of my cellblock and my journey to an unknown destination begins.

I wonder where they will be taking me today.

" Turun !" (Step down!) I obey as commanded.

Today is my third day of detention so, by now, I am very familiar with the routine. I feel the ground with my bare feet and gingerly place one foot in front of the other. I obediently step over the drain at the command of " langkah " (Step over), take a step up at the shout of " naik " (Step up), and step down again when my guide yells " turun ".

'Blind' world

Inside here we move around in a "blind" world so I am fully dependent on the direction of my guard to make the precarious trip to wherever it is they are taking me today.

Today we turn right. This is a new route. Yesterday it was straight ahead, across a gravel road, and the day before that it was left. Every day is a new journey for me and different from the previous day's. My nights might be dull, but the days are full of new surprises and dreaded anticipation.

I am now in a room - I can feel the strong draft from the blasting air conditioner. I detect others in the room from the whispers that fall silent as soon as I step in. My handcuffs are removed, then my blindfold.

It takes a second or two for me to reorient my sight. There are two officers in plainclothes in front of me - one seated with clasped hands on the table, and the other leaning against the wall glaring at me menacingly. They do not look friendly at all.

Today, I believe, my ordeal will begin.

I stand at attention and gaze unflinchingly at my new "companions". I am trying very hard not to look down at the floor, as this would be a revelation of my fear. They stare at me coldly and expressionless.

So, we are going to outstare each other are we? I am determined not to lose this "contest" by blinking first.

"Are you a Muslim?" the seated officer barks out to me in Malay in a very irritated tone of voice.

"Yes," I reply, with an almost trembling voice.

"Then why did you not give us a salam (Muslim greeting - Assalamu Alaikum - which means 'may peace be upon you') when you came in?"

Why I should offer peace greetings when I am not at peace with them is beyond me.

I grope for a credible reply to what is apparently my transgression. This is our maiden meeting and already I have antagonised my interrogators. This is not a good start. I need to quickly pacify them with a suitable excuse.

"I was told not to speak unless spoken to," I lie.

"Who told you this?"

Further scrutiny

Oh, oh. I am sunk. I should have known one question would lead to another. Maybe I should have just apologised and left it at that instead of trying to wangle out of this tight corner with an excuse that cannot be sustained under further scrutiny.

"The guards," I lie again. Actually it is not quite a lie. Yesterday one guard did command me to keep quiet when I made an unsolicited comment, though he did not quite say this is a permanent rule throughout my stay here.

"Well, they are wrong." Hmm, it looks like my story is holding up after all. "Maybe outside this room you are not allowed to speak. But inside here you must give a salam the minute you walk in. Understand?"

I nod to indicate the message has got through loud and clear and give the much sought-after salam - though, God knows, it is not given in sincerity or with Muslim brotherhood in mind.

" Lagi! " (More!)

More? What more does he want?

" Lagi ?" I ask.

" Ya . What is your name?"

"Oh, sorry, I was told that inside here my name no longer exists. I am Raja Petra bin Raja Kamarudin."

This time I speak the truth. When I was first brought in the morning of my arrest I was told I am now known as OKT ( Orang Kena Tahan ) 42/01 (Detainee 42/01). I will be called that and will answer when I hear this called out. My name is no longer in use here. This is the first thing you lose after you lose your freedom - your identity.

" Lagi ?"

Lagi again? What more does he want me to say? Why doesn't he guide me along? I ask him so and he replies, "Your number?"

Lost the first round

"Oh, yes, number OKT forty-two stroke zero one," I quickly reply. Surely he knows this already.

"Right, in future, every time you walk into this room, you give your salam , tell us your name, and mention your number."

"Okay," I reply in a weak voice with my gaze now to the floor. I have lost the first round - the staring contest. I now fear looking him in the eye, lest he interpret this as defiance.

"You will reply in Malay when I speak Malay to you. You will only speak English when I speak to you in English. Do you understand this?"

I indicate my comprehension of this rule with a nod and a feeble "Yes."

"And we will speak in Malay, as this is our national language."

Again I indicate my understanding of what is expected of me.

"And you will remain standing until I ask you to sit down."

I make sure there is no delusion that I not only understand all these commandments but will comply with them to the letter.

This is going to be one long day. I am already weak from three days of complete starvation. This last rule is going to be easier said than done.

So begins my ordeal.

Tomorrow: The first day and already I am broken

RAJA PETRA KAMARUDIN was detained for 52 days after he was arrested under the Internal Security Act in April, along with nine other reformasi activists, for allegedly seeking to overthrow the government by 'militant means'. His book, From Prince to Prisoner , which chronicles his experience while in police custody, will be launched on Sunday, Aug 19. Malaysiakini is publishing excerpts from his book beginning today.