Till TikTok do us part? Social media ending decades-long marriages

Summary

• Family and marriage counsellor Hushim Salleh reveals that social media addiction has led to an uptick in divorces among couples aged 50 and above.

• He says wives complain that their husbands are too engrossed with TikTok, often smiling and laughing alone while neglecting communication with them.

It turns out that social media addiction is not just stealing screen time, it is also stealing marriages.

Longtime couples who have weathered decades together are now calling it quits in their golden years, and one major culprit? TikTok and Facebook, according to family and marriage counsellor Hushim Salleh.

Speaking to Sinar Harian, he said there’s been an uptick in divorces among couples aged 50 and above and this is because one partner, usually the husband, is glued to his phone.

According to him, the trend of divorce in old age is increasing, with the cases he handles recording an average of three divorces per month since January, compared to only one or two cases per month in the previous year.

“Social media addiction has now become the main contributor to divorce after more than 20, 30, or 40 years of marriage.

“Many wives complain that their husbands are too engrossed with TikTok, often smiling and laughing alone while neglecting communication with them.

“This situation makes wives feel lonely, especially at this age when married couples usually live alone at home. Their children have completed their studies, are working, and have married, thus living separately,” he said.

Reduced communication, physical affection

Hushim added that social media addiction also reduces communication and physical affection between couples, leading wives to decide on divorce.

He explained that nearly half of the cases he handles end in divorce, especially when husbands show no change after counselling sessions.

Hushim added that many wives have also lost interest in the marriage after years of feeling neglected.

"Those who are determined to divorce often say they made the decision because they have not been happy for a long time.

“They endured the marriage for the sake of their young children, but now that their children are grown, they choose to end an unhappy marriage.

"Unresolved and unaddressed marital issues are also a major cause of separation," he said.

‘Valued by children’

Hushim also revealed that some wives have decided to leave home and live with their children because they feel more valued there.

“I am currently handling two cases where the wives left home and refuse to return.

“They feel more comfortable staying at their children's homes and spending time with their grandchildren because they see no meaning in returning home if their husbands are only busy with their phones.

“Some retired wives even plan to live in modern, paid elderly care homes.

“They believe that living in a care home is more enjoyable because they can interact with peers rather than live in loneliness at home,” he said.

Be romantic partners

In response, Hushim advised husbands to be wiser in managing their social media and gadget usage to avoid harming their long-established marriages.

He emphasised that divorce in old age is difficult for any couple to face.

“Husbands must learn to be romantic partners as it can strengthen the husband-wife relationship. They should also treat their wives as friends, someone to joke with and talk to.

“Communication is very important and should not be neglected, as it is a key factor in most divorce cases. Additionally, husbands must have empathy for their wives,” he stressed.

He also suggested that the government implement more post-marriage programmes specifically for elderly couples to rebuild marital harmony and rekindle romance.

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