When a situation presents itself to you in a pretty remarkable manner, this is the thought that rings in your mind and becomes a monster when the lights are out and you are about to sleep:

Why me?

You have the following choices, in order to have some semblance of a normal life, such as:

. Wallow in self-pity or be comforted by the pity of others

. Develop a rabid, positive attitude towards your situation that even your family might question

. You redha and berserah like all good Muslims, meaning that you leave everything in the hands of God and get on with your life

Some Muslims can be fatalistic about so many things. I don't know if this is a misinterpretation of the value of leaving everything to God, and that God is All Knowing. Yet, we ask: if God has preordained our fate, then is there any point hoping? Surely we can change our destiny? Prayers are not only remembrance of God, but also to talk to God so that certain conditions are changed, so you have a better life.

No?

"Of course you can pray to God to change things for you. For instance, let's say it is your qada' and qadar to suffer from cancer. But it does not mean that when you find out you have it, you don't do anything. You see the doctors, you take care of yourself, and you pray to God to heal you. To give you strength and a better life," an ustazah answered when the question was mooted.

Oh. So why bother with prayers, a student asked.

"You have no other alternative but to pray. It is to Him that you turn."

Then why do some people just live with their lot, and why do some people pray and pray and are good, but nothing happens to them?

Our destinies

The concept of destiny can be confusing. We are taught that our lives are pre-determined by Allah. That if one thing does not materialise, God has something better in store for us. So do we then, just let things be, and not plan for the future then?

The sixth pillar of Iman is belief in al-qada' wa al-qadar (divine preordainment). In short, it means that Allah has decreed all in existence, based on what has preceded in terms of His Knowledge and in accordance with His Wisdom. That even if one faces evil right in the face, it does not mean no good will come out of it. There are four levels of belief in this particular pillar of Iman:

(1) That God knows all things, in general terms and in detail, from eternity to eternity. Not a single atom is unknown to Him in the heavens or on earth.

(2) That God has decreed all things in al-Lawh al-Mahfooz , fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth.

(3) The will of God is irresistable and His decree is comprehensive, so nothing happens in this universe, good or bad, but by His will.

(4) That all that exists was created by Allah. He is the Creator of all beings and the Creator of their attributes and actions.

This does not mean that one's destiny is rigid and unchangeable. He does have the freedom to create the life he wants. That his will and ability do not operate outside the will and decree of Allaah, Who is the One Who has given him that ability and made him able to distinguish (between good and evil) and make his choice, as He says:

"And you cannot will unless (it be) that Allah wills the Lord of the 'Aalameen (mankind, jinn and all that exists)" [Surah Al-Takweer 81:29]

Exorcising your demons

It's an odd analogy of faith, but last weekend, this very point was put forth to me by a good friend who's pretty much a lapsed Muslim. A group of us had gone to watch The Exorcism of Emily Rose , and of course everyone had a ghost story to tell after the film.

He being an avid fan of films had watched the director's cut of The Exorcist and recounted a scene that was cut in the film that was screened for public consumption. Two priests discussed about the exorcism and the young victim. Why did the suffering have to happen to the young and innocent? Why were prayers not driving out the Devil?

The older priest answered that it was the Devil's way of disillusioning people, by preying on the innocent, so that they would no longer believe. And that the possession happened to prove to them that there was a God, and there was still a lot of goodness left in the world.

The agnostic or atheist may well argue that this is all hogwash and a believer's faith in God and the Divine as pure poppycock. It is logic that drives the world, not some archaic tradition brought upon by so-called prophets that divided seas and kidnapped nations through the air. Life is what you make of it. Life is about five year plans; 10 year goals with outcomes. (To those readers that have invited me to become the newest member of, ah, the club, thank you for the invitation, but I'm pretty comfortable with who I am, thank you.)

To each his own, yes?

Think about it: we Malaysians, whatever race, religion we are, we're always in a hurry. We have dreams. Big or small, the dreams have too be fulfilled. So we make plans, we move towards our destinies, for life is what we make of it. We create our lives. We're so bull-headed that we refuse to smell the roses, and when our dreams are not materialised or shattered, we don't know what to do. We console ourselves by saying, well I guess it's not meant for me, and we rage within us: it was not supposed to happen that way. I did A, B, C and Z was supposed to be the result.

Selamat hari raya

On their way back to Kuala Lumpur, my father visited his late father's grave. My mother was unable to visit the grave, so she waited in the car. It was well over an hour before my father came back to the car.

After paying respects to his late father, he met the caretaker of the cemetery. He was a young man, younger than me. My father asked why he had chosen such a morbid job.

"I could have been an imam, pakcik ," he said. He could have been a committee member of a mosque too. Actually, he could have become the neighbourhood Ustaz, teaching the young how to read Arabic.

But he chose this path, as a caretaker of a lonely graveyard, because to him, it was noble. To care for the dead and their grieving families.

But still , my father said, looking at the desolate grounds and the small house the young boy lived in.

"It is the fate God chose for me. I chose to walk away from being an imam , to become this. I have faith that by choosing this (job), God has something in store for me. I might have made a terrible imam, and that would not be good for the jemaah."

"We're Muslims, pakcik . We must have faith in God's plans for us."

Glossary:

Imam - Leader of congregational prayers

Pakcik - Uncle

DINA ZAMAN wishes all readers Selamat Hari Raya. She can be contacted at dina@malaysiakini.com .