This is the first time I have felt compelled to write because I cannot agree at all with SK Wong in his/her letter Problem not with women, it's with men .

It has always been a tendency with women to always blame men for their shortcomings. Let us not talk about rape which is a crime, just like murder is a crime. Let us focus on respect. I believe Aleesha in her letter Women, respect yourselves was talking about respect. She drew the analogy about houses and rape to make a point. She is right there. Normal men don't break into houses. Normal men don't rape women. Whether you lock your houses or not, a burglar will break in. Whether you wear sexy clothes or not, a rapist will rape you.

I am a product of a mission school who has been taught proper values and to behave in society. I come from a good family background. You know what, Wong? I have never ever been treated with disrespect by any male in all the 39 years in this world.

Your comment, 'If Aleesha thinks that by dressing conservatively, men of questionable character will not harass her, she is sorely mistaken' is ridiculous. Perhaps she would like to clarify who these 'men with questionable characters' are?

I have close male friends who treat 'sexy women' with hardly any respect. They talk dirty, use them and then dump them, call them names, etc. Maybe they lack proper upbringing but surprisingly with me, they are on their best behaviour. Why? Because I have specifically but very politely made it clear that such behaviour will not be tolerated by me. And it is just not me. I have numerous women friends like me who say the same thing.

We are not talking about rapists and I have to say that I disagree when anyone says that a woman's dressing causes rape. We are talking about respect for women. If a woman does not dress suitably, she will not be taken seriously. Just like we would not take a man dressed in shorts seriously at a board meeting. Would you wear spaghetti straps and shorts to meet a sultan? Would you be showing him any respect if you did that?

Women have to be smart to know where to draw the line. When you do that, men will not have any opportunity to 'tell' you what they think you should do. When women show a lack of thinking skills, then men feel (by virtue of the fact that they are the majority that run this country) that they have to 'force' you to do things.

If men make lewd remarks in Parliament, I have to say that the women sitting in Parliament have not firmly stood up and politely (here I repeat - politely) tell them that such language and behaviour is not acceptable. I have done that at VVIP functions and the feedback I get from the highest to the lowest guest and workers at the function is that they all respect that.

Nobody can or should dispute that men and women are built differently - our body and reproduction systems are proof of that. We are equal but different. To make men respect you is very simple and my friends and I are living proof of that. Dress, behave and speak decently.

Nobody, and I really mean nobody, uses swear words or makes sexist comments in our presence. And people always tell us that we are highly respected, not only in our working environment but also at our social gatherings.

Women can go on and on blaming and yelling at men to respect them and that it is their right to dress and do whatever they want. Yes, please do so but then don't complain if people don't respect you. One of my teachers once told us, 'If you behave like trash, you can expect to be treated like trash'.

As for men, it is for them to learn from us on how to behave properly. After all, it is the hand that rocks the cradle that rules the world.