Malaysians' selective empathy
COMMENT | Recently, Indira Gandhi urged the inspector-general of police to reunite her with her daughter following his revelation that he knew the latter’s whereabouts. Many media, news portals and blogs carried the news, welcoming threads of comments from readers.
The following are just are samples of comments I found online representing the majority views on the matter (translated into English):
“The past is the past. Let the child grow up in peace. After all, the father is taking good care of her now. The mother should be praying for her wellbeing instead of wasting time fighting.”
“Whatever happens, the girl must be raised as a Muslim, with her Muslim father. How can we allow her to become murtad (an apostate)and follow the lifestyle of a Hindu? We will then become sinners...
COMMENT | Recently, Indira Gandhi urged the inspector-general of police to reunite her with her daughter following his revelation that he knew the latter’s whereabouts. Many media, news portals and blogs carried the news, welcoming threads of comments from readers.
The following are just are samples of comments I found online representing the majority views on the matter (translated into English):
“The past is the past. Let the child grow up in peace. After all, the father is taking good care of her now. The mother should be praying for her wellbeing instead of wasting time fighting.”
“Whatever happens, the girl must be raised as a Muslim, with her Muslim father. How can we allow her to become murtad (an apostate)and follow the lifestyle of a Hindu? We will then become sinners.”
“The one who took the child away is her ex-husband whom she used to live with. I don’t think this is about the child, instead, this is due to her anger.”
“She is now blaming the police for her failed marriage. Your daughter is with her biological father, not strangers.”
“Settle your own family issues, stop troubling PDRM. The police have other things to do.”
“The kid is with her father, not a stranger. If you keep fighting, the issue will never be solved. This is all due to stubbornness. You just don’t want your kid to live well.”
“Does she think only she has lost a child? There are many cases of missing children which police have not solved. The only reason the case of her missing child is getting so much coverage is because her ex-husband is a Muslim convert who took the child away.”
My heart broke when I read the comments above. I browsed through hundreds of similar comments, feeling upset and angry. I mean, how could anyone not see the misery Indira is going through as a mother who has lost a child?
How could anyone expect Indira to move on with her life, to forgo her child and to entrust her child with the same man who had abducted and denied her child a relationship with her mother?
For years I have read news about negligent parents who lost their children in some tragic events, only to receive overwhelming support from our compassionate Malaysians.
Stories of young girls allowed to roam the streets without their parents, being raped and murdered; stories of young children being left alone in apartments, only for their tiny bodies to be found lying lifeless on the ground; stories of parents leaving their kids inside locked cars, causing death. There are many other examples I could give, but I think you get my drift.
In all the above examples, the parents have been negligent and irresponsible in fulfilling their parental duties. However, they were given so much empathy and public support.
“Kesian…” (What a pity)
“Redha saja-lah.” (Just accept it as fate)
“Biar je lah. Dah la hilang anak.” (Leave them alone. They’ve already lost a child)
“Moga tabah hadapi dugaan.” (Stay strong through this tough time)
By right they should have been held responsible and actions taken against them.
By right, their other children should be removed from their care and into a safer home.
But no. Instead of holding the irresponsible parents accountable, the majority of Malaysians wept with them, consoling them.
What about Indira then? Isn’t she also a parent who has lost her child?
Why then is Indira not receiving love and empathy from the public?
Can someone tell me why Indira is being vilified instead?
While the stories I’ve mentioned are of parents who had caused the death of their child due to their negligence, Indira is a parent who is continuously fighting to be with her child.
While the other parents who had contributed to the tragedy have accepted their children’s deaths as fate, Indira is a parent who is not willing to stop fighting for a child whom she had lost at 11-months-old and who is now almost 12-years-old.
If you ask me, Indira is a great mother, greater than many of us will ever be. The battle she is enduring is something many of us will not be capable of.
For those Malaysians practising selective empathy, I hope you sleep well at night.
On second thought, I hope you don’t.
FA ABDUL is a passionate storyteller, a media trainer, an aspiring playwright, a director, a struggling producer, a photographer, an expert Facebooker, a lazy blogger, a part-time queen and a full-time vainpot.
The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of Malaysiakini.
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