Gender equality is a distant dream for Malaysia and will continue to remain so if certain politicians refuse to treat women with respect.

The most recent issue is that of PAS Pantai Rantau Panjang MP Abdul Fatah Harun who barked that most divorced women are lustful and loose.

His baseless accusation certainly riled up Women, Family and Community Development Minister Shahrizat Abdul Jalil but for Abdul Fatah, there was not an iota of regret for having made such a vicious allegation.

Having displayed his utmost ignorance on why women seek divorce, this insensitive politician went on and on trying to support his unfounded claim that most divorced women go to parties and are gatal (lecherous).

"It is quite obvious why they ended up divorced or why their husbands left them", he was quoted as retorting in the Dewan Rakyat.

For his uncalled for remarks, Abdul Fatah was lambasted not just by Shahrizat but also women's groups. Yet, the sad part is that in spite of the government's call to politicians to be gender sensitive, characters like Abdul Fatah choose to ignore it.

Society's stigma

As it is, divorced women face a rocky road post-divorce in rebuilding their lives, trying to not let society's stigma affect their self-esteem and self-confidence.

It is a myth and a very pernicious one to say that divorced women are lecherous or that women seek a divorce because they have such tendencies.

Just how did Abdul Fatah come to that conclusion? Does he personally know of any such woman or was his statement a knee-jerk reaction to an issue concerning women?

And it is this myth that has kept divorced women from disclosing their marital status. What good would come from stating that they are divorced, for these women can be sure society's condemnation will fall on their shoulders, and not on the man's.

The truth is no matter how difficult the marriage may be, the responsibility always lies with the woman to make it work, not so much on the man. She may be a victim of domestic violence and face constant battery but society expects her to suffer in silence. Should she decide to end the marriage because of the suffering, the woman is labelled the guilty party.

Winds of change

Taking the bold step to walk out of an ailing marriage requires a lot of courage, for often times it is a decision a woman needs to make alone to protect her sanity and self-preservation.

If Abdul Fatah's statement is implying that come rain or shine, a woman must never leave her marriage, no matter how harmful it may be, he better start accepting the fact that the winds of change have started blowing.

Having read Abdul Fatah's insensitive remarks, one can only pray that God helps the likes of him in understanding the hardships women go through in making their marriages work.

At this juncture, I cannot help but pose a hypothetical question to the MP: Would he condemn his female siblings or female relatives who walk out of a marriage as lecherous women?

If the above scenario pricks him, then Abdul Fatah must realise that in life he should treat others as he would want them to treat him. Shooting off his mouth and making disparaging remarks about women is no reflection of a 'man'.

Women today have become more empowered and if Abdul Fatah has a hard time accepting this fact, then may God help him!

JJ RAY started her career with a mainstream publication. A non-conformist, she soon saw the barriers that went up whenever, through her writing, she tried to make the world a home for one and all.