Surprising news is filtering through from unnamed sources in the upper echelons of the Barisan Nasional. Component parties are falling over each other to re-brand themselves in an effort to win back the confidence and votes of the rakyat.

As the senior coalition partner, Umno, as usual, is taking the lead. After being constantly ridiculed as ‘Useless; Making Noise Only’ (Umno), they are quickly moving to stop the rot.

Sensing that real cooperation and reformation is the only way forward, they are ready to unveil this new name soon: K.O.R.U.P - ‘Ko-Operating to Reform Umno Party’.

Taking the cue from their political masters, MCA too, is considering a brand new party name. The name that has been proposed is: C.O.N.F.L.I.K - Chinese Organisation Now Fighting Like Infants in Kindergarten’.

However, it may not be smooth-sailing as certain quarters are opposed to this. They argue that it is an insult to all 6-year-olds. However, the president and his men refuse to be thwarted.

An EGM may be held to break the deadlock.

MIC, no doubt, will quickly follow in the footsteps of their two senior coalition members. The favoured name is: M.I.A - Malaysians Indians Association. As expected, this has raised heckles of the party being constantly ‘Missing In Action’.

Several other childish pranksters have come up with other demeaning acronyms for the party that claims to represent the Indian community. S.I.K (Samy Is King) and T.I.R.E.D (The Indians Rights Easily Denied) are just two of the names being bandied about as a reflection of how most people feel about the party .

A member of the public who wishes to remain anonymous has come up with his own cruel suggestion for a new name for the ailing party- D.E.A.T.H. - Don't Ever Antagonise The Head.

The president, as always (since 1977), will have the final say.

Our sources also tell us that, try as they might, Gerakan has simply been unable to come up with any new names because they simply have no idea and no clue. As such, they will be immediately dissolved as they serve no useful purpose to anyone anywhere now or ever.

All their former leaders have retired and are now living in and around the vicinity of the area

formerly known as Kampung Buah Pala, now renamed as Kampung Pala Indah (KPI).