What is Malaysian democracy? Is it the 'guided democracy' of past Indonesian president Sukarno? Is it Umno-style democracy? Is it MCA faction-riddled democracy? Is it Sabah-style democracy?

Sukrano coined the term guided democracy. Do you need democracy to be guided, like teaching a toddler how to crawl or walk? If democracy is 'guided', it is not democracy!

Democracy is non-directed. Ultimately, it is the voters who decide to cast their votes for a certain candidate; it is an open contest. Anybody can contest, but not everybody can win.

Those who do not have any party to back them up will never win. In fact, they will be contributing to the government coffers in terms of their deposits. It is welcome cash for a hard-up government during a recession. It is good, small change!

What about Umno-style democracy? Last year's election is an eye-opener. If you cannot win by the front door, you can still win by the back door.

Look at Perak, for example. They had the MACC nab two Pakatan Rakyat state assemblypersons and reduced the Pakatan majority by arm-twisting.

Never mind if you have pre-signed letters of resignation. The Pakatan Speaker can accept them and declare the two seats vacant; but the compliant Election Commission which is supposed to conduct elections refused to hold by-elections.

That is throwing the hammer into the works. So, we have two Speakers, two menteri besars. The Speaker does not want to surrender his seat? No problem. Get some fellows to bodily move him out. The Perak circus is the laughing stock of the world on the Internet.

One judge says, the former menteri besar is the real one; the other one says nay.

Then there is the MCA faction-riddled form of democracy. You cannot win an election, form a faction and gang up with all other losers. Or, you can win an election but some ‘enemies' are also winners. They should be stopped.

Now, last but not least, Sabah-style democracy. You can pre-sign your resignation letters before you are chosen as a candidate .You can even swear before a commissioner of oaths.

All the speeches mean nothing. If there is a chance to jump, you jump, provided the price is right. Forget about morality. Note that the PBS ship under Pairin Kitingan was deserted when so many rats started jumping.

All found their lifeboats. Then came the big BN boat and like the pirates of Somalia, they seized these little Napoleons. Poor Captain Pairin had lost so many of his able-bodied sailors. Soon, he too left his boat and joined the BN ship!

Like sheep, they accepted their fate as underlings. They are easy meat. If they want to keep their positions as state ministers, they better hold their tongues and say a prayer.

So, these are the four types of democracies. They are not frivolous, mind you. This is the land of boleh .