Recently, AFP reported that the wife of our foreign minister has published a guide book for spouses of Wisma Putra personnel. Among other issues, it advises that they should "look after their loos" instead of making snide remarks on the ambassador's wife.

Wisma Putra personnel abroad are encouraged to live in a cluster to form a commune. Hence, they tend to find accommodation near each other. This has its advantages at the beginning, especially when the newcomer depends on assistance when settling down in a new environment and a new culture.

Living in a commune also encourages them to co-operate and interact with each other and allow those in charge to keep an eye on security lest the more religious ones are lured by itinerant militant Islamic clerics whom they may have befriended at the local mosque to embrace the Shia or other beliefs.

Generally when the husbands are busy at work, the wives are very much left to themselves and indulge in gossip as it has always been a pastime in Malaysia. The gossip can range from why someone is not observing the required pantang period when she is pregnant, why a certain officer's wife wears so many gold bangles and jewelry, and of course, remarks about the ambassador's wife. After all, every Malay has at one time or other commented in exasperation to his non-Malay friend, even in Malaysia, that Melayu suka jaga tepi kain orang!

Ostensibly, the need to encourage them to form a "kampong" was to promote a sense of belonging. However, the real reason was to ensure that the wives can be canvassed at short notice to cook at the Residence whenever the ambassador has to host a dinner for visiting VIPs.

The ambassador's wife will give instructions to the counsellor's wife who in turn will form a cooking committee and the wife of the lowest ranking staff will have to pound the ingredients for the curry or do the washing up while the counsellor's wife will hover around, arms akimbo, supervising the kitchen work. Such was the lot of the lower ranking wives!

It was never like this in the earlier years. When Tunku Abdul Rahman was prime minister and minister of foreign affairs, the rules allowed each ambassador to bring along at least five servants, whose passage would be borne by the government. Some early ambassadors were political appointees, and were men who were already successful in business and could afford hiring servants and did not depend on their office staff to do menial work. Ambassadors like Philip Kuok, Omar Ong Yoke Lin or Tengku Indra Petra were very much liked for their very caring approach towards staff welfare.

When the career diplomats took over, they would usually bring along only one or two servants. Although Treasury has approved a quantum as maid's allowance to defray the cost of hiring a maid, some ambassadors would not pay the full sum that was approved to the servant but retain part of it for their own use. Such abuses eventually becomes common knowledge and hence discontent builds up between the servant and the ambassador, and the lower ranking staff as well, when their wives are dragged to do the kitchen work. There was a case of one servant stealing from the ambassador's house and disappearing altogether.

When the items which were lost were identified and valued, it was found that the total value was equivalent to what the servant would have received if the ambassador had honestly paid him.

Some of these career diplomats would also bring along their relatives as servants but with intention to allow them to study in the host country. - Phang LA

Same issues, different religions

Pardon my rambling, but I recently googled lyrics from an Elton John old hit, Rocket Man , which was popular when I was a senior in high school, as I frequently mishear lyrics. I started wondering about some of his lyrics, which seemed to reflect heterosexual feelings, when I believed him to be gay. (Turns out, he seems to only write the music portion). I happened upon your website, and discovered that things in Malaysia are much the same as here in the US with regard to religion and tolerance of sexual preference or identity.

Living in the US, it is easy to become geo-centric and forget that other people around the world face the same issues, a weakness that I will try to avoid. But I think that fundamentalist Christians and fundamentalist Muslims both view homosexuality in the same light, which may stem from common roots of the Old Testament and the Quran.

Would it not be wonderful if people would reach out to others unlike themselves who struggle with bigotry, discrimination, and hate crimes simply because of their sexual identification? And would it not be more wonderful if we could find and compare parts of Islam and Christianity that foster love and caring, not hate and war.

For one crazy moment, I wish an issue like this could bridge the gap between the religious war-mongers so that we can all worship our Higher Power, whatever we wish to call it, and to focus on the positive message of love.

Okay, I'm too old to be that nave, but I can still dream. If no one ever dreams, how do great changes happen? I just happen to be straight, but I am willing to stand up for the rights of others who need our support. For me it is one of the highest forms of expression of my faith. Shalom. - Deborah L Saneda, Ph.D

Is Malaysia 50 years old?

I read malaysiakini often and find the articles interesting. I wonder if you could initiate a discussion on whether Malaysia is really 50 years old this year.

From my perspective, Malaysia was born in 1963. I wonder if this could ever be discussed or clarified. I was born in 1957 in Sabah and what we learned in school seems to be different.

I hope that when federal people talk about Malaysia and plan Merdeka celebrations, they will take into consideration the feelings of people in Sabah and Sarawak.

As far as I'm concerned, this year is Malaya's 50th year of independence and Malaysia's 44th birthday, not 50th. Malaysia will be 50 in 2013. - Faridah Malai

Comments can reach rentakini by emailing francis@malaysiakini.com . Selected lettere will be published.