Sometimes, diplomacy is not much different from treading a tightrope.

So, when Juergen Staks, the German ambassador here, refuted a recent warning by some German intelligence sources that Malaysia was a medium risk country, he went out of his way to assure the authorities here of the confidence of the German government in Malaysia's security, suggesting that 'Malaysia is as safe as Germany'.

Patronising is hardly sufficient to describe the kind remarks of Herr Staks, and I honestly think his favourable appraisal of Malaysia has been rather hyperbolic.

I have fond memories of Germany. The whole country is so immersed in its rich traditions and heritage that it is as if Ludwig van Beethoven, Johann Sebastian Bach, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe and Heinrich Heine had not actually departed from us, but were merely taking a break from all the mundane business in this world.

As Lung Ying-tai, a renowned Taiwanese writer familiar with the German-speaking world, has aptly analogised, these great artistes and literati would soon return from a walk along the river to join us for a warm cup of tea. Their works and masterpieces are still gracing the museums, galleries, music halls and libraries across this safe and picturesque country otherwise known as Germany.

Rare species

Snatch thieves are a rare species there, if not totally unheard of. Once a murder has taken place, the entire police team in the region is put into action in search of the perpetrator. Any police chief that reminds the media not to play up the issue of crime, as is so often the case in Malaysia, will probably receive his last pay cheque. Moreover, despite the presence of some seven million foreigners, nearly two million of whom are Kurdish or Turkish, Germany has managed to maintain very low crime rates over the years.

Thus, Herr Staks' remarks on our public security are, to me, perplexing at best. But what can we expect of a diplomat if his or her job is not about speaking the language of diplomatic niceties?

Since the snatch theft issue came to haunt the entire country a month ago, the Malay press has been awash with articles blaming the pendatang haram (illegal immigrants) for the rising crime rate.

Although the involvement of foreigners in criminal activities must not be discounted, by highlighting the issue of pendatang haram in Malaysia, the media is simply barking up the wrong tree. After all, there is no absolute correlation between undocumented persons and the rise in crime.

Germany, a shelter for many displaced Bosnians, Serbs, Croats and other eastern European nationals during the civil war in the former Yugoslavia, has been able to maintain peace and security. Kudos to the effective German police forces.

Snatch theft, it seems, is a phenomenon peculiar to Malaysia. But to question the integrity of the police is something un-Malaysian. Instead, Malaysians are expected to express their profound gratitude for the hard work of the police. To pursue to the end the (ir)responsibility of the police will, lest we forget, bring the public in direct confrontation with Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, who is also minister of internal security. Shifting the focus onto the allegedly 1.2 million pendatang haram seems a natural and convenient way of relieving the police force of their dilemma.

Silver lining

There is however a silver lining in the travel warning issued by the Germans. Instead of being emotionally disturbed, we should take solace in the fact that the same intelligence report also classifies Singapore, the ultra safe nanny state, as a medium risk country, on par with Malaysia, although the kiasu Singaporean is bound to feel so very piqued.

Sometimes, I too believe Singapore is a paradise transplanted in a turbulent region by mistake (would I get stoned for showing my sympathy?). The Malacca Straits is now fast becoming a training ground for piracy, and Indonesia, the largest and most unstable country in Southeast Asia, is grappling with tonnes of domestic issues that are distracting Jakarta from mapping out a concrete and effective regional security measure.

It would be na V ve to doubt Singapore's intention of bringing in the United States to police the Malacca Straits. Faced with strong objections from Indonesia and Malaysia, the island state has been forced to consider the second best, namely calling for other major countries sharing a stake in the treacherous waters to join in the patrol effort, which could include China, India, Japan, South Korea and Russia.

Indeed, allowing the US troops to be stationed in the Malacca Straits would, as far as Washington sees it, be a strategy that serves multiple purposes. It could undermine China's diplomatic endeavour in Southeast Asia, nib in the bud India's ambition of expanding its navy eastward, killing off Russia's dream of forging closer ties with Asean, put Japan under US perpetual subjugation, and ensure that the entire Southeast Asia be a sphere of US influence.

Thomas Fargo, the Commander-in-Chief of the US Pacific Command Admiral, may have been genuinely concerned by the lack of cohesion among the littoral states, but his suggestion that the US would help provide the necessary training to the security forces of the states concerned 'upon invitation' will continue to arouse uneasiness and distrust in the region, which may not be conducive to building confidence and capacities in the long run.

Lie low and behave

Thus, it would be worthwhile to explore further the possibility of putting in place a common regional patrol framework, and the proposal by Jakarta to formulate an action plan for the establishment of the Asean Security Community, a regional security mechanism, is a step in the right direction, which echoes Singapore's vision.

Being a pragmatic state actor, the Singapore government is smart enough to recognise the hurdles facing the US. But no matter how good an idea it is, so long as it comes from Singapore, it will invariably be perceived to contain some ulterior motive by its 'prickly' neighbours, especially Malaysia.

Now that Umno divisional nominations for the party's annual general assembly vote is underway, Singapore may be bracing for some blitzkrieg in the Malaysian media right until the Umno elections are over.

My piece of advice would be for the Singapore leadership to lie low and behave, and speak less on the Malacca Straits issue. Enjoy the show.