Picture this: thousands of Pakistanis working in the US after graduating from various prestigious universities around the globe acquire a house, a car and a compatible spouse. Life is hunky dory.

Then, one day, a day which will be remembered forever, two planes crash into the World Trade Centre in New York City, and our lives and the world at large are changed forever.

Some of these Pakistanis are laid off right away, while those who aren't breathe a sigh of relief. However, from there on, almost everything goes on a fast downhill track.

Presently, not only are Pakistanis being laid off by the dozen, but American companies are unwilling to rehire them. In addition, students with perfect grades and recommendations are being refused admission into US colleges. This could be coincidental, but is it?

Bleak job prospects

America has always been considered the land of the free, a place where people from any race or ethnicity can make a niche for themselves. I myself lived there for the past five years and during that time never felt demeaned or degraded in any of my academic or professional experiences.

I had always been proud to be a Pakistani and announced it openly. However, once I was laid off after Sept 11, things took a different turn for me. Unable to find a suitable job in the US, I had no choice but to come back to the land of the pure and to look for employment here in Pakistan.

I remember thinking, "I am well qualified, foreign educated, well spoken and have global work experience; they will grab me." Needless to say I was wrong.

Having spent the past five years of my life away from the desi world of bribery, corruption and nepotism, I had mistakenly assumed that I would find a suitable job on the basis of merit alone. I completely forgot that this is, after all, Pakistan and nothing here works on merit.

This, coupled with the crashing economy and imminent war with India, made job prospects deplorably bleak. Most companies I called informed me that they were on a hiring freeze.

I couldn't help but think that if this situation persisted, what would become of the thousands of students graduating from college this year?

Poor image abroad

Finally, after several months of trying unsuccessfully to find a suitable employer on my own, I succumbed to form and called up a contact, asking him to "hook me up". Suffice to say, I got an interview the next day and a job offer a few days later.

Now most of you would say that this should have made me happy, what with the hundreds of thousands of people in Pakistan who are unemployed and frustrated. So why didn't I feel the adrenalin rush of eternal bliss?

Karachi was, after all, where I was born and raised — my home, my haven — and I had succeeded in finding myself suitable employment, even if I had to stoop to levels I am ashamed of.

But then is life ever that simple? I found myself comparing, almost subconsciously, my salary here with what I had been earning in the US. I know it was absurd of me to compare my lifestyle and quality of life in the US to the one I had over here, but I just couldn't help it.

My situation is shared by numerous Pakistanis, some of them friends and familiar faces, some of them complete strangers. I find myself looking for someone to blame for my current predicament, for the despair that sometimes overwhelms me.

I ask myself whether I have much of a career in Pakistan, whether my future here is as bleak as it seems. Spare moments are spent strategising and trying to come up with options and ways to move abroad, Dubai, grad school, anywhere but here.

Then I stop myself and realise that it's silly of me to think of other options. Would Pakistani nationals really be welcome in any other country, especially after the international media has played such havoc with our image?

For a better life

So what options am I left with as a woman who wants to work? Try and look at the positive side? My mother tries to console me by saying there are people starving in Somalia. While that does put my situation in perspective, it does little to assuage the pain I feel.

We all want a better life and when we feel we can't get it in Pakistan, we decide to look for it in other places. This is why Pakistan is suffering such a rapid and growing brain drain.

It is sad to feel that the very country that defines our identities as global citizens is not good enough for us. It is sad that we feel the need to run away to greener pastures instead of doing more for our homeland.

Yet what choice are we of the younger generations left with, especially us women? With international investments diminishing everyday, the deteriorating political environment and dearth of job opportunities, those who are able to get out are left with very little choice but to leave.

Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, "the great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in which direction we are going."

I hope and pray for all our sakes that Pakistan's direction is the right one, for our future depends on its well-being and prosperity. Meanwhile, may we find the inner peace and commitment to stick things out till that day arrives. —GVNN/Friday Times