The latest mini-drama to hit Malaysia has come in the form of a spurious and nonsensical debate over whether it is 'un-Islamic' to question a Muslim man's 'right' to have several wives.

When the campaign to promote monogamy as the ideal form of relationship was first launched, few expected such a strong and heated response from some quarters. Sadly the response thus far has proven to be typical and expected, and coming from the usual suspects.

Tenets not questioned

Among those who have attacked the pro-monogamy campaign include the so-called 'moral guardians' of our society, including the (allegedly) 'new and improved' Islamists who claim to be the defenders of human rights and democracy.

Also jumping into the fray has been the vernacular Malay press, which for some reason seems to have given ample coverage and publicity to those who are opposed to any social reform and questioning of the normative expression of living Islam in this country.

The charges against the pro-monogamy lobby are serious. Among other things, they have been accused of questioning the fundamental tenets of Islam, damaging the good name and image of Islam, and behaving in a 'hysterical and emotional manner' (which, as some might tell you, is typical of women

anyway...)

Before things get completely out of hand, it would be good to remind ourselves of some basic facts. At no point did the pro-monogamy activists question or put into doubt any of the fundamental tenets of faith ( iman and aqidah ) which are sacrosanct in Islam.

No theological questions were raised pertaining to any of the fundamental articles of faith or belief; and no attempt was made to question the validity of the Quranic message, the role of the Prophet, or the sanctity of Islam. To suggest that any such thing happened would be a gross instance of fitnah (sowing discord) that is both malicious and dangerous.

As to whether this campaign has damaged the image of Islam and Muslim concerns, the question could simply be turned o­n its head and framed thus: How does the continued practice of polygyny improve or promote the image of Islam and Muslims?

Coming as it does at a time when Islam and Muslims are being demonised by the global media the world over, normative practices like polygyny are used time and again to reinforce the stereotype of Islam as being unjust and unfair, and Muslim men as being oppressive towards women.

Since Sept 11, 2001, I have attended countless conferences in Asia, Africa and Western Europe where I have defended the good name of Islam and Muslim concerns at every given opportunity.

Yet time and again, the standard counter-attacked used to blunt my argument has been that Islam is oppressive and unjust towards women, thanks to the continued practice of polygyny by a small minority of Muslim men.

Original context

The third thing that needs to be questioned is the relevance of polygyny as a practice today. Granted that polygyny was accepted and allowed during the early history of Islam, we also need to remind ourselves that the circumstances then were radically different from what Muslims are facing now.

During the initial birth of the Muslim ummah , the Prophet and his followers were small in number. Not o­nly were they weak and vulnerable, they were also forced to endure the constant harassment and persecution of their enemies.

Many a brave Muslim sahabat (companion) and follower died in the early years of Islam, so that the community could survive and prosper. The practice of polygyny was o­ne way to ensure that widows would be taken care of and that orphans would not be left fatherless.

Under such circumstances, polygyny not o­nly made sense: it was a political necessity for the sake of the survival the ummah itself.

One wonders if such circumstances pertain today. Again and again we hear of cases of abuse where rich husbands choose to marry second, third or even fourth wives if and when they can. Oddly enough, in many of these cases the new wives are not poor widows or elderly women in need of care.

Instead they happen to be younger single lasses whose o­nly hardship seems to be finding the right handbag to match their shoes. It is hard to see how this sort of practice lives up to the spirit of charity, care and communitarianism that is enshrined in Islam.

Listen up, guys

Polygyny, in the end, is a guy thing. No amount of sanctimonious humbug will alter the fact that the o­nes who benefit and gain the most are men and the o­nes who stand to lose the most are women. Worst of all, it reflects badly o­n Muslim men, all of whom have to share in the stigma that is dumped o­n us thanks to an errant few.

So it is to the men to whom I shall now turn. There are some serious questions that we - Muslim men - have to address today whether we like it or not.

As Muslims we ought to know that Islam is a religion that defends, promotes and upholds equality, egalitarianism and justice above all.

This is why the socially transformative message of Islam managed to spread all over the world in such a short space of time, and why millions chose to become Muslims. In Islam, the fundamental tenet of equality before God stares at us in the face wherever we look.

As Muslims we also expect to be treated equally, fairly and with justice in our daily lives. Quite naturally we are shocked and angered when we see our rights trampled upon by powerful Western states that impose their will o­n us, deprive us of our land, our political rights and our identity.

Quite rightly we speak out against injustice and discrimination when it is levelled at us in the media, in politics, in our habitat and place of work.

Why, then, can't some of our Muslim 'brothers' realise that this basic human need for justice transcends the boundaries of gender and sexuality as well? If Muslim men can demand justice and fairness from the world, why can't they grant that same degree of justice and fairness to Muslim women?

How would a Muslim man feel if his wife suddenly told him that she wanted to have another husband simply because he is too old/fat/bald/boring/lazy/impotent/unproductive? (" Abang ni dah lembek lah... chek nak kawin suami muda boleh tak ?")

What would this do to the self-esteem, pride and dignity of a Muslim man if he felt that he was not good enough, and had to be 'supplemented' by another?

Would such a man want to continue being married to his wife, knowing that all around him others would be talking behind his back, sneering at his inadequacies and shortcomings? What kind of man would ensure such a thing and not demand justice?

The other side

Now if Muslim men would be angry and frustrated under such circumstances, how do we think Muslim women feel when they are told by their husbands that they are simply not good enough and that the husbands need to marry another?

This is the real crux of the matter, and it has nothing to do with theology, law or history. It is a basic human reaction to what is fundamentally an unjust situation.

I, for o­ne, am appalled by the concert of silence that is so painfully clear these days. The struggle for the betterment of Muslims has been kept alive mainly by Muslim women who have had to carry the burden of the entire ummah .

It is they, our Muslim sisters, who have been the primary victims of war, domestic violence, institutionalised abuse, routinised discrimination, religious intolerance, and now male chauvinism.

We Muslim men seem to be able to talk o­nly about fantasy jihad in remote corners of the world while failing to see the real struggle ( jihad) on our very doorsteps: this is the struggle to create a truly equal Muslim society where Muslim men and women treat each other with the same respect and dignity that they demand for themselves.

Young Muslim men cry and shout (hysterically) in support of idiots like Osama bin Laden and the Taliban, but fail to see that the real test of chivalry and manliness is to be able to treat a woman as a rational human being endowed with total rational agency and rights as they are.

In time, all of this will come to pass. Whether they like to admit it or not, the conservatives and traditionalists are o­n the losing side of history.

The rapid advances in society o­n all levels - especially education - means that Muslim society will undoubtedly evolve and move o­n ahead. o­ne day, perhaps not too far in the distant future, polygyny will be a thing of the past.

But from now till then, the struggle for justice and equality will be borne regardless by Muslim men and women alike, together. Those Muslim males who consider themselves 'liberal', 'progressive', 'with it' and 'on board' had better get their respective acts together and get off their respective behinds.

If you guys don't speak up, then you are part of the problem. Your sisters need you: to stand up and be counted, and be a REAL man for o­nce.