Just before the 1999 general election, Prime Minister Dr Mahathir Mohamad in a public rally urged Chinese Malaysians to exercise their duty as a voter wisely, otherwise he could not guarantee if the government would be able to prevent a recurrence of the May 13 racial backlash 30 years earlier.

Increasingly alarmed by the serious divide within the Malay community subsequent to the sacking and jailing of Anwar Ibrahim, the former deputy prime minister, there appeared to be a significant swing behind the Barisan Nasional government as far as the Chinese community was concerned. For the first time since independence, Umno had had to rely o­n non-Malay support to keep itself in power.

The BN may have won the last general election, but the support given by Chinese Malaysians to the current government was at that time a reluctant o­ne at best. The reminder, and I rather use the word 'blackmail', by the prime minister with regard to the May 13 Incident seems to have worked, and especially so when o­ne considers the May 1998 (yes, the curse of May!) commotion in Indonesia that had seen Indonesians of Chinese origin raped and killed, which, according to the Human Rights Commission of Indonesia later, had been 'well-planned'.

Umno knows full well how deep and real this fear of another racial backlash is among the Chinese in Malaysia, which explains its ready resort to this fear tactic to remind Chinese of the reality that they are at the mercy of the Malays in this country.

If Chinese Malaysians, before that fateful day of May 13, 1969, had perceived Malaysia to be a multiracial state in which their political participation would help shape the national policy, the riots, mostly but not exclusively between Malays and Chinese, immediately after the 1969 general election effectively put paid to such fantasy.

Clear lesson

The euphoria of the Chinese and the victory processions in Kuala Lumpur in celebration of the opposition wins had provoked the siege mentality of the Malays, forcing the later to retaliate. The end result is the phantom that comes back to haunt the nation from time to time.

For the Chinese, the lesson is clear: from a predominantly Malay land, Malaysia has, from that day o­n, been instantly transformed into a Malay-dominated state. Chinese Malaysians have since gone into a long period of political retreat, choosing to make the best out of whatever is left for them to cultivate in the economic sector, instead of confronting the Malay state head-on politically.

Seen in this light, elections have become a 'celebration of democracy', a five-yearly fanfare and pomp to remind the citizenry that Malaysia still adheres to democratic notions.

For Chinese Malaysians, politics has shrunk into a community politics, with Chinese education put at the forefront of the grassroots movement. Ballot boxes are where protests are registered, but Chinese voters are, in general, too haunted by the May 13 memory to take a plunge when faced with a critical choice, hence the 'solidarity' with the BN government in the midst of the economic crisis in 1999.

For the older generation who still remember vividly what they saw o­n May 13, 1969, the tragedy is perceived as the culmination of the sorrow of the Chinese people in Malaysia.

Their anguish cannot be more fully explained without looking back o­n what had taken place beforehand: the indenture system under which the Chinese coolies were brought to Malaya and the humiliation thereof, the guerrilla war against the Japanese invasion between 1942 and 1945, the Emergency after the Malayan Communist Party had been declared illegal, during which Chinese Malaysians were forced to relocate and many became natural suspects by the British and the Alliance administration, and finally, the racial confrontation of May 1969.

The impact of all these histories o­n the psyche of the Chinese community cannot be overemphasised. The Malay may see the Chinese in this country as a snatcher of his economic pie, but the Chinese sees his existence in this country as a story of tears and sorrows clearly the two extremes of understanding with regard to the same history.

No consensus

The above is written purely from a Chinese perspective devoid of objectivity, to say the least. Herein lies the greatest danger: partly due to state manipulation and misinterpretation of the history and partly due to the serious distrust between the two major ethnic groups in Malaysia, there is no consensus whatsoever o­n the tragic incident that nearly tore down the nascent nation in 1969.

As far as the Malays are concerned, the Incident continues to serve as a humiliating reminder that their position as the master of the land, or, as M Bakri Musa would have it, the Alpha Race , would be challenged if they remained weak, whereas the Chinese tend to see it as having providing the strongest possible justification for the affirmative action at the expense of the Chinese (they rarely care about the real losers: the Orang Asli and the Indians, anyway).

In short, the May 13 Incident signifies for the Malays the beginning of a process of the Malay Revival, but for the Chinese, the pronunciation of their political death. The common feeling is that it is futile to fight against the Malay state, because 'the Malays have army and police' etc. Again, no o­ne, including this writer, knows how the Indians and others feel about the Incident.

Although we as the new generation of Malaysians must dare to imagine and, hopefully, to win over the racist government, it is hard to find a common footing o­n which people of all races can narrow their differences o­n the May 13 issue. The state does not encourage public debate of any form, and the mainstream media remains docile.

The power struggle between Umno and Keadilan and the Islamic state debate between Umno and PAS again highlight the awkward position of the Chinese in this country. Some often make fun of their own dilemma by using, perhaps aptly, the Malay saying: gajah lawan gajah, pelanduk mati di tengah .

So many have chosen to remain silent, for fear of severe political consequences should they stick their heads out too much. A public enquiry into the May 13 Incident, along the lines of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa that reconciled the black and the white communities, remains a pie in the sky.

How to start? Where to start? Regrettably, I am no wiser than anybody else, which is why I have not hesitated to express the negative, if subjective, views above, in the hope that by laying bare the scar of May 13, we can all begin to heal the wound, to learn to forgive but not forget, and consign this terrible nightmare to history o­nce and for all.

JOSH HONG is trained in international politics. While distraught by all o­n-going global conflicts, he nevertheless considers reconciling the many paradoxes and differences in human life to be a cause worthy of lifelong pursuit.