Not only mad people need a shrink
Why do some people not want to share their personal problems with friends and even family members? How can we have balanced expectations in life that will not lead to frustration or lack of purpose and standard?
In this final of a three-part series, professional psychologist Dr Edward Chan shares his insights on these and many other issues that individuals face in our modern daily life.
Malaysiakini: Incidents of stress resulting from work pressures, financial difficulties and family problems are rather common in modern societies but many people are still unable to cope with stress. How best to cope with and reduce stress?
Chan: These are some ways to cope and reduce stress:
1. People should increase self-awareness, through which they can understand their own strengths, weaknesses and limits. This helps us to understand the level of work related and personal stress they can take.
Why do some people not want to share their personal problems with friends and even family members? How can we have balanced expectations in life that will not lead to frustration or lack of purpose and standard?
In this final of a three-part series, professional psychologist Dr Edward Chan shares his insights on these and many other issues that individuals face in our modern daily life.
Malaysiakini: Incidents of stress resulting from work pressures, financial difficulties and family problems are rather common in modern societies but many people are still unable to cope with stress. How best to cope with and reduce stress?
Chan: These are some ways to cope and reduce stress:
1. People should increase self-awareness, through which they can understand their own strengths, weaknesses and limits. This helps us to understand the level of work related and personal stress they can take.
2. We can also make short and long term plans according to our own abilities.
3. We should also set realistic, measurable and achievable goals, where we can reach the goal through our own strength and weakness.
4. We should take time to have a holiday to relax and refresh our energy to continue the busy life.
5. Adequate exercise and a proper diet and healthy lifestyle can reduce stress.
6. We can see a psychologist for further personal development and healing of unpleasant experiences from the past.
Because of egoism, the lack of trust and fear of betrayal, many people prefer not to discuss their personal problems. Thus unanswered or unsolved, their problems may lead to stress. How do we overcome egoism, the lack of trust among friends and family members, as well as the fear of betrayal?
Egoism can be explained based on an individual's self-esteem or self-confidence. They can be over-confident (perceive themselves as superior) or maybe they lack confidence (use ego as a defense mechanism to cover up their inadequacy).
The reasons for lack of trust are because of unpleasant past experiences where they have been betrayed. Cultural up bringing also can cause someone to distrust others.
To overcome egoism, people can seek professional help (psychotherapy) to resolve past hurts and learn alternative strategies to solve the lack of trust problem among friends and family members.
They can also attend a personal development programme or couples and family therapy if they want to overcome egoism.
It is often said that excessively high expectations in life often result in frustration, yet a lack of expectations can cause a feeling of purposelessness in this competitive world. How to strike a balance between too high and too low expectations?
To strike a balance between too high and too low expectations, people should know and identify their own strengths and weaknesses when they set a goal to achieve. It is not a must to achieve but hope or wish to achieve.
Besides that, people should balance their expectations. It's okay to have expectations or even high expectations, but do not insist on achieving them all at once. Do not portray the 'I don't care" attitude when you can't achieve the expectation that you have set or planned.
As a result of rapid industrialisation and modernisation, as well as massive rural-urban migration in Malaysia in the last 20 years or so, many youths from rural or smaller towns who have come to Kuala Lumpur, Penang or Johor Baru to work or study have no, or not enough, social support from families and social networks.
Many therefore find urban life rather bewildering, perplexing and disorientating, lonely, insecure and stressful. What can psychological counselling offer to them? What are the best ways for them to adjust to new urban setting without being psychologically destabilised?
Psychological counselling can provide them with a proper channel to share their thoughts and feelings.
Psychological counselling also provides them with advice and guidance to help them adapt to changes systematically. Friends and family members should show empathy, support and give attention to these youths, so that they will not feel lonely or face psychological problems.
In addition, psychological counselling can also provide them with social skills by involving them in a support group, facilitated by a qualified psychologist, to share their difficulties, thoughts and feelings. Youths also can get support through family or group therapy.
In Malaysia, psychology is still not a popular subject. Why did you choose to study psychology? What is the study of psychology about?
Psychology is a study of how to understand human behaviour, using scientifically rigorous methods. It is to understand human beings and society.
I chose to study psychology because psychology offers the best skills for an individual to learn about themselves and others. Psychology can help individuals to reach their potential growth and psychology is a helping profession that contributes something back to society.
Psychology is a way for the betterment of the general population with regards to mental health.
Seeking psychological counselling is still not common in Malaysia because it is often misconceived that only mad people need it or that psychologists are psychiatrists. How can we change this misunderstanding of the concept of psychological counselling and the profession of psychologists among the ordinary people?
To change the misconceptions of psychological counselling and the profession of psychology, among the ordinary people as below: -
1) An awareness campaign on the value and importance of mental health and emotional growth.
2) Seminars and workshops to create public awareness on specific behavioral and emotional problems.
3) An emphasis on healthy personal and relationship growth (Psy.CARE)
4) Support from the government and the media to educate the public
5) Encourage organisations to provide EAP for their employees (Psy.CORP). Employees can have access to confidential and free psychological professional help.
6) Incorporate psychology into the academic syllabus, for example:
i. Stress Inoculation Programme
ii. Peer-pressure talk
iii. Social skills classes
iv. EQ camp
Three-part series
Exploring the psychology of violence
