The way our boys and girls in blue in the Royal Malaysian Police (PDRM) have been acting for a while now, it would seem that they are besotted with Hollywood or, more likely, Malaysia Boleh, fictional crime-busters.

Indeed, like those TV characters in Yusof Haslam’s ‘Gerak Khas’ and the earlier ‘Remang-Remang Kota Raya’ our ‘mata-mata’ (old Malay slang for police) heads seem to think that they can willy-nilly arrest anyone they don’t like.

Or, get other, more established and respected, international law and order organisations to bow to their demands and do their dirty deed.

Just like the indefatigable Steve McGarrett used to solve cases in the 1970s television series, ‘Hawaii 5-O'.

In the original ‘Hawaii 5-O’ television series (1968-1980), Captain Steve McGarrett (the late Jack Lord) almost without fail would utter the immortal words, “Book ‘em, Danno” at the end of every episode when a criminal is apprehended. Danno, of course, being his sidekick, Officer Danny Williams (the late James MacArthur).

As with many Hollywood police series then and now, the crimes committed are often solved at the end of every episode, and the criminals apprehended.

Now, it would seem, our police heads fancy themselves as browner and broader versions of Steve McGarrett, certainly in form if not in substance.

One clear illustration of this inclination is their penchant for barking orders, often in the traditional media but, increasingly - as if to be oh-so-hip - in social media as well.

The memes and jokes that cleverer and, certainly, wittier Malaysians have created regarding this particular ‘phenom’ who’s been barking orders on Twitter bear witness to this development.

“Arrest this person”, “monitor this group” and “question these individuals” seem to be the order of the day, all as if to replicate the ‘heroic’, bold instructions of their local and Hollywood television heroes.

A case, evidently, of fact mirroring fiction, real life copying fantasy.

This wouldn’t be too bad - bearable even - if the ‘bad guys’ being monitored are vicious, hardcore, unrepentant criminals.

But when they are students, artists, professionals, members of civil society, opposition politicians, academics even, such antics seem rather silly, at best, and, at worst, signify bullying and undue harassment.

And certainly not the least bit funny.

Be that as it may, these ‘Book ‘em, Danno’ moments evidently are on the rise and, unfortunately, have been spread overseas.

Two notorious incidents

Two notorious incidents that come to mind are the requests (demands?) forwarded to Interpol.

Yes, Interpol, that international police organisation with the primary aim of advancing international police cooperation.

Interpol, quite simply for many, acts to help apprehend criminals internationally and across country borders.

Indeed, to digress, it might prove to be a much more useful organisation to help apprehend Malaysia Official 1 (MO1) and his bunch of plundering ‘lanun’.

At any rate, Article 3 of Interpol’s constitution states: “It is strictly forbidden for the Organisation to undertake any intervention or activities of a political, military, religious or racial character.”

Bearing this in mind, it would seem that both incidences mentioned here fall within the activities highlighted under Article 3.

Even if they don’t, they certainly are incidences that arguably don’t warrant any police action, let alone Interpol ones.

The first was the request a year ago to help the Malaysian police to arrest Sarawak Report editor-in-chief, Clare Rewcastle-Brown.

The request from the Malaysian side was for Interpol to issue a ‘red notice’, or an international arrest warrant, for Rewcastle-Brown.

This was to follow up on an earlier warrant issued by our coppers against her for ‘activities detrimental to democracy’ and for ‘publishing false information’.

Such a heinous crime indeed. The crime of exposing to the whole world via Sarawak Report the 1MDB scandal, and the people involved. The crime of being an investigative reporter. The crime of being a whistle-blower.

Not surprisingly, Interpol rejected the request... with a straight face, we can be assured.

Even more farcical

The second request is even more farcical. This time it’s by the Penang police to Bukit Aman to seek Interpol’s assistance in locating three Taiwanese men. Three singers.

Singers who were evidently vicious, inhumane and criminal enough to have sung with eternal naughty boy, Namewee, in a video clip which allegedly insulted Islam.

No prizes for guessing that this request to Interpol, too, will be rejected.

Fact is, we are already the laughing stock of the rest of the world, thanks a bunch to MO1 and his equally unpleasant government and non-government lackeys.

We certainly don’t need our neighbours and those further afield to mock us more, to laugh in our faces.

One way to prevent further abuse is for us - all of us, including our already tainted institutions - to think, however difficult that may seem, before we splash cow manure all over our faces.

Even if these cardboard characters from a Yusof Haslam TV series don’t have any pride, any maruah, many other ordinary Malaysians do.

Whatever their proclamations, they really are no longer respected by many Malaysians. The credibility that was once there has been lost for awhile now.

So, please, spare us (and the rest of the world) the Steve McGarrett posturings and the ‘Book ‘em, Danno’ moments.

They are no longer comical. They are just downright embarrassing. And an insult to the intelligence of even the targeted stereotypical ‘kampong folk’, erroneously deemed simple and easy to manipulate.

ROM NAIN is a media analyst and academic who is weary of incompetent, unethical leaders and their apologists and spin doctors in the media who try to get away with murder while professing to rub shoulders with God’s angels.