The massive coverage of school violence and bullying in the media recently sparked a deja vu feeling in many people, myself included. This primarily due to the fact that it was only last year when Inspector-General of Police Bakri Omar dropped the bombshell that than an average of 120 pupils are hauled up each month for alleged involvement in various vices including drug abuse, gangsterism, fighting and sexual assaults.

A year before that in 2004, fourteen boys at a top religious school in Seremban were arrested for allegedly beating Mohamad Faris Ibrahim, 16, to death. What was their reason for ganging up on that star student? Jealousy.

A few years ago, the Education Ministry released the list of schools which rated the highest in terms of gangsterism activities. That list seems to have been forgotten. Going back as far as 2000, there have been many incidents of violence in schools and these are often forgotten after the incidents blow over. This is especially true when the media is pacified by excuses made by the relevant authorities and ministers.

So what does it take to get Malaysian to address the seriousness of the issue? A video? A picture? A death? Been there, done that and public apathy is still here.

The problem with bullying is the element of violence being used as a mechanism in defending oneself. Indeed, it sounds like an oxymoron but it is generally understood that most bullies are in fact insecure. They exert force and arrogance because there is something inadequate inside. The persona they exude is one of false confidence gained from throwing their weight around. This gets them their so-called 'self-respect' though in the wrong way.

Vulnerable lot

Moral studies in school has not alleviated this problem. Corporal punishment is losing its effectiveness. Parents are not as strict with their children. The rebellious are getting more rebellious and the pacifists are at the receiving end of it all. As hopeless as it sounds, it is in fact as hopeless as it gets.

One can only hope Malaysians will change their mind set in relation to dealing with teenagers because they are one vulnerable lot. It's scientifically proven that hormones and puberty can make a teenager turn from dove to a hawk if the right buttons are pushed.

We have all gone through our own tumultuous teenaged days with stories and scars to show and tell. We need to now impart to the youth of today that there are counsellors they can talk to and parents who are ready to listen. There is no subject too taboo that cannot be discussed.

Let's also stop pointing fingers at the students or schools and instead look at ourselves and how we all relate as Malaysians of different ages, ethnicity and social class. How many of us are guilty of being violent at a point in time in our teenage days? How many of us shout expletives while driving? How many of us are angry inside and have destructive thoughts?

We can stop being apathetic and show that Malaysians Boleh. Yes, you heard right. The citizens' spirit maketh the country so the impetus has to start with the people.

During my university days in England, news of bullying could be found on the fifth page of the newspapers. What dominated the front page were more shocking stories on race-related murders and school children stabbing each other with sharpened pencils.

Malaysians can be proud that such violence has not reached our mentality but we cannot be content with the dismal state of our own affairs. We must take the that great leap of faith forward to change how we see things.

Nothing to lose

However, violence in the country isn't only found in schools. It is also on the roads, in coffee shops and perpetrated by diverse groups from loan sharks to even the police. It's now a matter of urgency to combat violence with diplomacy and education. It disheartening to see violence becoming a solution to problems and it is worse when shocking violence doesn't elicit the response it should.

It is almost clich to state Vision 2020 is looming close and we have much to learn. From the verbal warfare in Parliament to videos of bullying in school, there should be proactive change. Being civilised is a collective effort; we can do it bottom up or top down and meet in the middle. We can say 'thank you', 'please' and 'sorry' and continue with our hospitable Malaysian style.

We can also do the smart thing by emulating commendable values from developed countries. It is by no means a reason to forego ours but since the only thing that is constant is change, there is no doubt we can change for the better. It's Hegel's theory that synthesis happens when the antithesis collides with the thesis. So we can use this to our advantage in dealing with our flaws. After all, we have nothing to lose and much to gain.

We all know violence is not the way to go. We can only resolve the problem if we hear all sides of the grouse and find an amicable solution. Just try it, listen to the youth and give them a chance to speak. Try to be understanding and not critical. They are not a lost cause and much can be benefitted if we stop passing the buck to other authorities. Perhaps this way, things will not be so hopeless after all.

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SOON LI TSIN currently interns with malaysiakini . She is a pacifist and minimalist.