But no matter how (financially) abusive our husband is, we still want to cling to him. We fear the unknown: Can Anwar be trusted? Yeah, Nik Aziz may be honest but he's no fun - he won't allow us to throw away our children's education fund at the four-digit shop. Lim Kit Siang? Aiyo, his hair and spectacles look so 1970s lah. Fine. Whatever. But it's irrelevant. You and I know the opposition are not going to win in 2008. Even the DAP has admitted it. Partly because the people like you reading this sort of message on the Internet are limited to the urban middle classes.

(So you might wanna e-mail or print out stuff like this and share with friends. Or talk to them. Or SMS them. Do something.) Sure the opposition can't win, but it's their agenda that's important. It's the only ‘bargaining chip’ we have. With it, we can go and tell our husband, ‘Look, I'm tired of your neglect and abuse. I got other men promising to take better care of me. Whatcha gonna do about that?’

At present, Pak Lah just says, ‘Haha, who cares? Those boyfriends can't touch me. I'm too strong.’ He can't even be bothered to have a proper debate on the issues unlike Obama and Hillary. And during the Great Johor Flood of 2006, Pak Lah couldn't even be bothered to show his face - he was holidaying in Perth and opening his relative's nasi kandar shop. Why? Well, Johor is a Barisan ‘stronghold’ isn't it? So what for he want to get his feet wet? That's what happens when we give our husband a dowry of a 90 percent majority.

We get taken for granted. The only way our husband will take us seriously is if he feels some pain. Let's not even talk about denying the BN a two-thirds majority. In 1999, when BN lost 45 seats (just 24 percent of the total) in Parliament, there was serious soul-searching in BN. Dr Mahathir could not stay on, especially since an estimated 60-65 per cent of Malays had voted against Umno.

To reverse that massive ‘defeat’, Pak Lah in 2004 promised the sky, the moon and the earth to woo us voters back. And we bought his sweet talk. But the honeymoon is over and his sugary words have now fermented into sourness. So this time round, if the BN loses, maybe say 50 seats, we will be back to 1999 and Pak Lah will have to shoulder the blame. Maybe BN will then start to think of serious reforms.

Perhaps they will:

• Nationalise the North-South Highway, so that the huge profits from tolls can be channelled away from cronies towards free university education.

• Repeal the Official Secrets Act so that we know how the hell the government is using (or abusing) our money.

• Let Najib take over and this time they'll really nail Eric Chia for corruption.

Shock therapy

Hahaha, just joking-lah! Even if our BN husband loses 50 seats, none of the above will happen. After 50 years, the dadah of corruption and cronyism has probably become too addictive in the Umno-BN system. But at least, they might throw us a few more bones to placate us. For instance, they might give out a bonus to the hard-core poor. Or decide that we, the long-suffering wife, is worth an extra RM5billion in petroleum subsidies.

RM5 billion? Nothing what... Our husband just has to tell a few cronies, ‘Okay this year, cannot buy S-Class Merc and Prada handbags, sorry lah, have to downgrade to C-Class Merc and Bonia bags.’ That's why, sad to say, even if the BN member of Parliament (MP) in your area is a good, hardworking person while the opposition fellow is new, we should vote the BN guy out.

Because the only thing that will bring about a ‘leeetle’ bit of change in BN, the only thing that will wake up sleepy Pak Lah, is the Shock of the Scoreline on the night of March 8, 2008 - BN: 172 Opposition: 50

That's right. As the BN leaders sit there in their ‘Bilik Gerakan’ that night, watching the results roll in on TV, they won't reform themselves if you voted in your MP because he checked many longkang and potholes. The only thing that's going to cure Pak Lah and the BN is the Shock Therapy of the Final Score. Agree?

Of course, there is a whispering campaign of reverse racism going on, especially since the BN already knows that the Chinese and Indians are unhappy. ‘If the Chinese and Indians don't support the MCA, Gerakan and MIC, Umno won't listen to them anymore,’ the whispers go. Haha, you mean Umno really listens to the complaints of MCA, Gerakan and MIC?

Why do corruption and red tape still hamper Chinese businessmen?Why were Indian temples demolished? Why did Umno Youth threaten other races with their keris ? Besides, even the president of MCA is the minister of a ministry which has close to zero power. That's right, he is ‘in charge’ of housing and local government, two areas that are legally (in the Constitution) under the jurisdiction and control of state governments.

Does he determine which oil palm land will be developed into houses? No. Can he check the PJ City Council for corruption? No. All he can do is ‘advise’ them to be good boys. Do you think the Maharaja of Klang, that Zakaria guy who controls the Klang Municipal Council, listens to Ong Ka Ting? Zakaria could even defy the Selangor Sultan and the menteri besar. And now his daughter-in-law is running in Klang for the coming elections.

As for Gerakan, Koh Tsu Khoon had to submit three names to Pak Lah to choose the next Penang chief minister. And the Gerakan Wanita chief was kicked about like a football in Perak from Taiping to Lenggong and then, on the very day before nomination, to Gerik. There just ain’t no respect. So what ‘voice’ does MCA, Gerakan and MIC have despite their so-called ‘solid’ election victories in 2004?

Blogger not sued

It’s a paradox, but the Chinese and Indians may in fact regain their voice by voting out their so-called ‘representatives’. Let's go back to BN's ‘shock’ loss of (only) nine out of 71 seats in the 2006 Sarawak state elections. It ‘forced’ the state BN to reduce the land renewal fees that had upset (mainly) the Chinese.

Interestingly, it was the Chinese-based Sarawak United People's Party (Supp) which lost those nine seats, as it was perceived to be a ‘running dog’ for the modern Rajah of Sarawak, Chief Minister Abdul Taib Mahmud. But even then, the state BN still accommodated the Chinese because they had merajuk big time. So paradoxically, the Chinese of Sarawak got what they wanted when they rejected their Chinese ‘representatives’.

Maybe all this is too much to absorb. Okay, let's just talk about crime. As it is, we don't feel safe on the streets. We don't even feel safe inside our homes. Where can we go? Singapore? Now, let's take the MCA wakil rakyat for Petaling Jaya (PJ) Utara, Chew Mei Fun. She seems to be a diligent and popular MP who does everything - organising line dancing, giving out ang pow and even going door-to-door distributing anti-crime pamphlets.

Yet, why is it that the SS2 area of PJ is a hotbed of snatch thieves? Even though there is a huge police station right there? Why is crime still so prevalent in PJ? Chew should know the answer. Her former boss, ex-MCA President Ling Liong Sik, had often cited that Chinese proverb: ‘A fish rots from the head.’ And the rot stinks.

Four women a day were raped in Malaysia during 2003. By 2007, it had doubled to an average of 8.5 women a day. In 2007 alone, the number of gang robberies using parang and knives shot up 160 percent. Do we see our policemen fighting crime? Patrolling our neighbourhoods? But when the rakyat got frustrated and came out on the streets to criticise Pak Lah and the BN, suddenly thousands of cops amazingly appeared from nowhere.

We cried out to our husband, please , do something about crime. All he had to do was fulfil his promise - to implement the neutral police watchdog (the IPCMC or Independent Police Complaints and Misconduct Commission) as recommended by the first royal commission.

What's the big deal about an independent watchdog? Even former IGP Tun Hanif Omar openly wrote in The Star newspaper a year back that - based on lavish lifestyles alone - at least 40 percent of senior police officers are corrupt.

Are the police able to police themselves? Or have they been infiltrated by the big money of loan sharks and drug dealers? That's why we need the IPCMC - to clean out the rogue cops from the force so that the many honest ones still inside can do their jobs properly. In fact, the renowned blogger Raja Petra Kamarudin (RPK) has repeatedly and openly accused (with documentary proof) the IGP Musa Hassan of being a ‘business partner’ of Johor Chinese gangster lords. Is that true?

If not, the IGP should clear his name and sue RPK big time for defaming him. In fact, that's what Hanif publicly advised the IGP to do. What's stopping him? If our BN husband can't handle this most basic thing - to jaga the security of his wife and children - what kind of man is he? It's not the fault of hardworking MP's like Chew. She can walk for weeks or months under the hot sun going from house to house advising PJ folks to carry pepper spray and double-lock their doors.

A blank cheque

But it won't solve the root causes of crime which is about a failure of national policy - Pak Lah level - where the fish head is. Similarly, we elect wakil rakyat (like Chew) who then have to practically beg the local councils to do their bloody jobs like fixing road potholes and blocked longkang. If you've been reading The Sun newspaper, you will know how corrupt, incompetent, wasteful and arrogant the local councils have been.

For instance, PJ City Council has dodged all responsibility for the scandal where they forced advertising companies to ‘donate’ millions to their PJ Sports Club. Local councils just ain’t got no respect no more for the residents. Where's the fish head - the root problem - here? If Pak Lah really loved us, after he got his massive 90 percent mandate, he could easily have given us back local council elections (taken away in the 1960s), so that we can vote in Majlis Perbandaran officials who work properly. Or else we will vote them out.

But Pak Lah wouldn't do that. Why? Because local council posts are another avenue to reward his mistresses - cronies like the Maharaja of Klang. It will be sad to see someone like Chew go. But we have to do it this time for the greater good. The country is rotting and we must do something to turn the tide - at least for our children's future.

In fact, it is precisely the loss of such so-called ‘good MP's’ like Chew that will make Pak Lah suddenly sit bolt upright at night next to Jeanne Danker Abdullah in bed and think doubly hard - ‘My God, if even such hardworking wakil rakyat can lose, I must be doing a really lousy job.’

Anyway, it's not like the MCA will give up the PJ seat forever. It will surely still run a service centre where Chew's prot é g é or replacement can ‘continue to serve the people’ (as they always say) and wrest the seat back in 2012. That’s what happens to every seat that’s been lost. So we'll then have the best of both worlds won't we?

But like I said, this is not about hating our BN husband and Pak Lah. It's not really his fault. Politicians are simply creatures of power. We, the rakyat , simply got the politicians we deserved because we gave them a blank cheque to use and abuse us. We are like the woman who ‘gives in’ too easily - no man respects that.

So what should a neglected, ‘taken for granted’ wife like us do? We have to jual mahal and merajuk a bit these elections. When a man has not ‘got’ the girl yet, he will go to all lengths - candle-light dinners, flowers, chocolates and sugary words - to win her over. We can only become like that desirable maiden again if we play hard-to-get. Remember, we are courted only once every five years. Let's make the most of it.

Read Part One and Part Two .

EDWARD BERUANG is a pseudonym. The writer likes to look at politics with some humour and a twist of limau every now and then.