Tragedy is tragic. And we're not all equipped to deal with them. Malaysians can eat six helpings at a buffet but most of us can't deal with six minutes of tribulation.

If a loved one passes away suddenly or if an unexpected accident occurs or if we get fired without warning (or if there's a chance we may lose our parliamentary majority yet again, if not the parliament itself), there are a few things we could do.

One, we could pick up the pieces and move on. Or, two, we could deny it. Or, three, we could choose option #2 but act as if it's option #1 .

There is this case (one of thousands, I suspect) of a young man who lost his beautiful wife to cancer very early in the marriage.

When his friends visited him to console him, he appeared fine, well-balanced emotionally, more than able to cope and very accepting of the loss. This was surprising - but also disturbing.

Because each time the friends visited, they noticed that the man - the bereaved widower - always had a hamster near him, which he kept playing with every now and then.

It was later confirmed that the problem was deeper than the impression the man gave, because a few weeks after the wife died, so did the hamster, after which the man suffered an emotional breakdown, spiraled into manic depression and even tried to kill himself.

The hamster, in other words, acted as a fetish i.e. a substitute, a stand-in, which helped the man cope with his tragic loss.

When the reality of something traumatic hits us or is imminent, we may grab desperately at something which keeps the horror at bay, which provides a psychological umbrella from the agony about to rain down on us.

It needn't even be a tragedy, but a potential romantic occasion. But some guys are afraid of actually being with the girl, so they steal pieces of her clothing or her watch or a lock of her hair or something.

Mental defence condensed into a piece of realia.

Of course, there are also extreme examples like unrestrained sex, drugs, workaholicism, irresponsible shopping, cruelty, excessive sleep, reading The Star (no, just kidding), sports fanaticism, and so on.

As long as this ‘thing' or activity is close to me, life is bearable.

What does this have to do with politics in Malaysia?

Well, we have an incumbent government who's so badly messed up the country via cronyism, racism, religious manipulation, scare tactics and bad speeches yet persists in implementing amendments like Section 114A, flexing police muscles against human rights activists and producing dubious education reports.

Malaysia is suffering from inflation, pollution, a distorted media and brain-drain yet the present administration goes after flag-innovators, protesters with really loose pants and senior poets.

Does it not appear as if authority itself has become a fetish, a freaky substitute for responsible leadership?

This looks like a bad Malaysian version of George Bush's directive to Americans after the 9/11 attacks.

The First Man's exhortation to the country after the worst kind of violence on United States soil was not work more responsibly, it wasn't love and forgive more, it wasn't listen harder, it wasn't think more creatively - it was 'Shop More' (and if Bush was Malaysian, we all know the message would've been 'Don't Eat Less').

Why this message? Because it concealed and pushed aside the disturbing truth of America's imperialism and militarism, to which the towers collapsing was a tragic wake-up call.

When the number of culprits is less than 20 and they fly three planes into three buildings, it's called terrorism.

When the number of soldiers number over 20,000 and they fly more than 2,000 planes to bomb two countries, it's called the 'War on Terror'. That's what fetishism does: it distorts reality.

Likewise, Malaysia's ruling regime's memo to the country in the wake of near-severe socio-political upheavals is not let's stop corruption, it's not let's spend wisely, it's not let's gag Ibrahim Ali - it's "Street demos aren't our style". No?

But offering bailouts to failing companies owned by our cousins' cousins apparently is?

When it's students gathering at night shouting into a cheap bullhorn for democracy, it's called a disturbance.

When it's crony ministers speaking into expensive mikes and making empty promises, it's called a Merdeka rally.

Propaganda and media presence are two very popular fetishes for bad leaders under pressure.

And yet, corrupt politicians are not the only ones with a fetish. The common citizen can also be affected. We don't want to believe that our jobs, our homes, our values, our learning and our public spaces stand to be threatened by a political elite manipulating resources and ideas.

So we tell ourselves let's not get political. We sense something isn't right, but why have serious conversations when our Facebook page - another fetish - streams forth yet another pointless Gangnam video?

Pro-democracy NGOs need money but we'd rather spend our cash on MANGO clothes.

Does anyone else get the feeling Malaysians are generally caught in a fantasy which keeps us returning to fetishes of all kinds?

What's the story we tell ourselves? What's our hamster? Most importantly, how do we kill it?