Hooray to Alina Rastam for her letter . I agree one hundred percent with all her statements. Shame on the likes of RR and Eric Paulsen (and I should add, S and G) who seem to cling to the notion that it is up to women only to engage men in the fight of violence against women, and that we should 'sweeten' the message or the whole idea is totally rejected.

They seem to get hung up on the presentation of the message, not the message itself. In other words, they seem to sidetrack the issue at hand. This is so typical.

The statements in RR's letter are especially disturbing, and he seems to be reading Alina's letter a great deal more negatively than what was intended. This is exactly what Alina was talking about - they want their ego stroked before they can commit themselves to understand.

I urge Malaysians to see the facts for themselves. We are talking about innocent women and girls being brutally murdered or raped on a daily basis here. This is not about whether Manohari Subraniam's statement is acceptable or insulting to men, and this is not about the rights or political correctness of women's groups.

What I hope people would understand is that those dealing with violence against women are ordinary people - they didn't get degrees in this field because there is no such thing. They struggle to keep the work going and may fumble sometimes.

The subject matter, being extremely sensitive to people's sensitivities, is bound to make many people uncomfortable and downright hostile. They sometimes must make statements that they know will upset people, but needed to be said, such as the statement made by Manohari.

We should be shocked and upset to the core about the deaths caused by violence against women and rape statistics in Malaysia, not by some statements made by well-meaning individuals.

Fellow Malaysians, we are talking about murder and crime, the loss of lives, and the suffering of people here. We need to keep in mind that whatever goes around will come around.

It could be your sister, wife, mother, daughter, or yourself who will be the next victim. We should not leave it up to women or women's groups only. The whole Malaysian society owns the problem of violence against women.

We should give full support for Awam, WAO, Manohari, and other groups and individuals who are leading the movement to fight against violence against women. At the very least, they ought to be applauded for their efforts by everyone, including politicians and the police.

These women and groups sacrifice a great deal to do the work they are doing. While most of us are in pursuit of the good life through our careers, these people have given up lucrative careers to work for the good of society. They are woefully underpaid, and sometimes threatened with violence by the perpetrators of the victims they serve.

I can relate to the struggles of these groups as I have a first hand experience. I am a Malaysian woman living in the United States where I dedicated 10 years of my life in the 1990's, working on domestic violence and sexual assault (rape) issues among the Asian immigrant communities in the city I live in. The pay was low and the work was extremely difficult.

Even during off hours and weekends, we took turn carrying beepers or hand phones for emergency calls to assist victims at hospitals. We get up in the middle of the night in 0 degree celsius temperatures to transport victims to shelters or assist police in helping the victims.

We were labeled "home-breakers" for offering to shelter women escaping the violence perpetrated by their husbands and boyfriends. We were called men-haters for constantly talking about how it is the sexist norms and attitudes of society that is the origin of violence against women.

At community presentations, we were yelled at for airing the dirty laundry of the Asian community. So-called community leaders told us not to use the terms "domestic violence and rapes in the Asian communities" and instead use the "neutral" term "family problems", lest the mainstream white American society looked down on us Asians.

When we lobbied the state legislature for bond money to help build a shelter, other groups were lobbying against our bill. Some judges and police officers were not knowledgeable on violence against women or were simply sexist and would rule in favour of the abusers. The list goes on. The reward is that we have a safer Asian community for women in this city.

RR, Eric Paulsen and others, I have a challenge for you - if you don't like the way the fight of violence against women is carried out, why don't you get a group of your friends and colleagues together and start your own group to fight against violence against women?

If you think I am being sarcastic, I am not. Because of your experience as a man, you have the ability to present the facts and issues in a more palatable way to the menfolk. Before you start, though, I urge you to start educating yourselves on the issues first, because your statements are way off the mark.

To the women and men who are involved in the noble cause in being the solutions in the battle of violence against women, I salute you. Please keep the torch burning. Keep Malaysia safe!