Now that malaysiakini has turned four, Happy 4th Anniversary. To get licence for a weekly paper - that's however still an idealistic aspiration than a reasonable expectation in the world of realities.

As an illustration, reference is made to the Oct 30 report, ' Malaysiakini barred from PM's last Umno press conference ', in which 164 journalists signed in including those from various foreign press agencies but excluding malaysiakini reporters.

According to the report, "A party official at the press registration desk at the Putra World Trade Centre said a standing order barring malaysiakini journalists had been issued by Umno secretary-general Khalil Yaakob. The order by Khalil, who is also the information minister, is believed to have stemmed from his displeasure over malaysiakini 's coverage of a July press conference after an Umno meeting. Malaysiakini had then questioned Mahathir about a multi-million ringgit logging scandal involving Umno Pahang".

The choice of word "scandal" by way reference to the logging of 10,000 acres of land involving Pahang Umno connotes a happening associated with discredit, disgrace, a circumstance or action that offends propriety or established moral conceptions or disgraces those associated with it.

My question is why should the 'powers-to-be' grant malaysiakini a licence and by this act vest legitimacy in, and grant opportunity for growth of, the very media whose mission it is to relentlessly or at least without qualms expose and unravel 'scandals' arising from foibles of those in power?

Which person or organisation who is not without scandals and foibles would encourage and licence an untiring investigative print paparazzi to probe and expose his/its own frailties or shenanigans?

Of course the much touted justification is as always public accountability, transparency, democracy and the rest of the yarn good for the majority of citizenry which here and the rest of the world pay public lip service to but in varying degree, neglect in private such imperatives.

There is a reason for a public face - for public support - and a private face for personal aggrandisement. Personal aggrandisement means helping one's own interest, one's immediate family's own interest and that of our closest pals and cronies.

Who amongst the majority of us would not do that privately and maintain a public face otherwise - when opportunity beckons?

You see human nature is well human nature.

The majority of us rile at power abuse, corruption and cronyism precisely because if we have no access to these cables and ropes. And we are particularly aggrieved when the minority who has, could take unfair advantage and aggrandise their personal positions at the expense of us, the faceless amorphous public to whom the advantage takers or abusers feel no particular allegiance or accountability.

But let's turn the table and see what happens if we could reverse the equation, and elevate ourselves from the disenfranchised masses and given a rope to climb up atop?

Whilst I am not saying all people are morally bland or obtuse - and I am sure malaysiakini founders are certainly exceptional and excluded - the majority of the very people who criticise abuse of public positions will immediately cease to do so when they are given the track to be alleviated from that majority disenfranchised from power and opportunities to join elite ranks of abusers and advantage takers who could reap all gains beneficial to themselves and those immediately family to them.

For charity begins at home and our susceptibility to this kind of selfishness cut across racial, religious, social and economic strata.

Even the most academically qualified and the most knowledgeable, objective and intellectual amongst us will find it hard to resist the blandishments of power and personal benefit if given access and we will with alacrity prostitute our intellectual resources to serve that person, persons or cause that bring personal benefits to us.

For so long as the above is generally true since time immemorial of most people (who ascend up or down the power ladder in turns) we will always have the likes of the logging scandal, the controversial railway project that dominate the front pages of malaysiakini .

But back to the point in the beginning: If public probity will always be put forward as public face whilst private reaping of public advantage will surreptitiously continue here and everywhere - and that's life - who in power would give a media a licence whose mission it is to expose the very disjunction between public and private face, and thereby shoot one's own foot with one's gun? To expect more is unrealistic.