The past few days has been almost a nightmare. This is supposed to be the usual Monday where I have meetings, supposedly with a colleague returning from his business trip and a Europe family vacation. A message from him says: I will return July 18... which Paul never did.

No words could describe such deep sadness we felt. MH17 is a flight that I have taken many, many times. There are two flights on the same route (with an hour difference). Most people, including the Dutch, prefers MAS. I have been on this flight for umpteen times. Countless.

Despite all the rumours and angry messages, I believe many Malaysians are angry and aghast at this plain disregard for humanity. Some have even taken the route to condemn MAS, to the extent of our government as well. We felt the need to do something to ‘fix’ this after being struck by lightning twice. First it was MH370 and now MH17.

Had MAS been careless this time? I’m not part of MAS’s organisation, neither do I work there. But I know after the MH370 incident, it has really been on its toes. They would rather delay the flight for more than 10 hours (on my return flight from Melbourne to KL) than to fly with a faulty part. They would rather compensate us, put us away in a hotel and ground staff to suffer from complaints.

If they need to fly in the parts from another place, they will do it. Most of the time when I’m on board, most of the crew members say: You have a choice of MAS or other airlines. We don’t. This is our livehood. Whether we land safely or not the next day, it’s takdir (destiny).

I believe all the crew members, including pilots, are already gripped with fear after MH370. Why are we blaming and condemning those who are not able to defend themselves in MH17? How different are we, compared to those who fired a missile at innocent lives?

Prayers are all we could offer, there is very little we could do to help in recovering the bodies or the dignity of the victims. The very least we could do is to stand united behind our nation’s leaders as Malaysians.