May I be permit to add to the emigration debate with these 10 Golden Rules for 'How to be a successful Malaysian emigrant'.

  1. Never tell anyone in Malaysia that you are an emigrant. It breeds envy and they want to change currency from you. Read malaysiakini letters for more reasons.

  • Never tell anyone in London, Shanghai, Helsinki, Geneva, Vancouver and West Africa (where I have lived and worked) that you are an immigrant. When asked why you are tanned, pale etc. mumble something about global warming. Always dress down and look stupid.

  • Never discuss religion with anyone. When asked what religion you profess, just say you forgot.

  • Never discuss politics with anyone. When asked for your political opinion just stare at the ceiling, count to 50 and look real dumb. The questioner will give up.

  • Tell your kids if they marry a foreigner they will be disinherited. This ensures that the family assets stay intact.

  • Keep all your money in cash in the strongest prevailing currency under your mattress. You never know when the next madman is going to strike. Or when the Bureau de Change is closed.

  • Keep all your total worldly possessions in a 20-kilogram suitcase that should always have your passport (of whatever origin), airline ticket and some cash (from your mattress), a valid credit card and a 200cc bottle of Volvic mineral water. This also includes never buying a car. Rent everything (including dinner jackets).

  • Never live more than a 45-minute drive from an international airport - your life may seriously depend on it.

  • Get a university degree and make sure all your kids have one to facilitate this get-up-and-go strategy.

  • If you can't get an internationally-recognised degree, then curse your bad luck, stay put in Malaysia, pretend to be clever, rant and rave about emigrants being traitors but make sure your kids get that degree and then cabut , pronto!

    • See you all at the departure hall.