With reference to Ivanhoe's rebuttal to my letter, a few points need to be re-emphasised here ([#1] Unity does not come with one tongue [/#], Feb 26).

While it is true that some members in Umno have long been making extremely provocative remarks on race-related issues, we, the non-Malays must be able to put matters in perspective.

After more than four decades of independence, we still reiterate our need to impart our culture to our children. This is all well and good, but aren't we supposed to be trying to find a national identity? Malays still feel increasingly ostracised within Malaysia and if not for government affirmative-action policies, they would be. It boils down to trust and respect - every community blames either the government or other communities for their problems. This must stop. Take the first step - cross the river.

On police action, there are times when we need to balance the greater good for society against individual rights. This is all I meant. The danger of the Damansara protests lay in its race-related nature. I do and still admit that the police action may have been wrong, but I hold no grudges against the police for taking action. They did what had to be done.

The comparison to countries such as Switzerland is wrong. The national language issue is relevant. It is not enough to teach it as a separate language in schools. How long are the majority of non-Malays going to struggle to use the language? Also, as a young nation, we are still struggling to find an identity - we have what is described as survival anxiety, which leads the people of a nation to believe that its sovereignty is being threatened. It will take time for us to rid ourselves of these anxieties, but until that time, every young country must see sacrifices - we, the non-Malays have to play our part.

Economic expansion in a developing country is a must. Cities must expand - sacrifices must be made.

On mother-tongue schools not being responsible for the 'race first, country second' mentality, try finding that out from polling 12 to 15-year-old students in vernacular schools. Ask, in Malay, how many friends of different races do they have?

Prioritising one common language is no guarantee of national unity, but it will help unifying efforts or at least communication.

The writer's one point that I agree with is that my first letter did not define 'country'. I still cannot; this is the crux of my argument - let us find out what Malaysia is.

Are we prepared to embark on the quest for this elusive grail?