I had to renew my passport two years ago at the Malaysian Consulate in Australia. While I was going through the formalities, I was mildly questioned why I have not returned to Malaysia once in the last nine years. Why was my IC still the old blue plastic one?

I explained that between my education, work, families and partner, I could barely scrape two weeks' leave if I was lucky. Not to mention money. The man at the consulate laughed and proceeded to ask if I was a resident of Australia. I said, yes. I was questioned then why I married an Australian. I was going to answer that it was none of his business, but bit my tongue. I thought if I could just finish the formalities quickly, I could go back to work.

Then came the shock - the man wanted my thumb print. I understand that the form requires one, but on a piece of paper? I knew my privacy was being violated. So what do you do in my place?

I did what I did when I was back in Malaysia: I smiled, kept my head down and accepted it. After all, I was on Malaysian ground.

When I left, I knew nothing has changed. I am still a citizen of Malaysia as they want me to be. Accepting all forms of mental and psychological conditioning. Never questioning it. Just yield.

Were it not for my families in Malaysia, I would have changed my citizenship and forget all about the place I was born. I wanted badly to return to Malaysia and help develop it, but I know my chances: as a Chinese and female, I would not get a second glance. My opinion does not matter, nor does my input.

One thing is for sure - I owe Malaysia nothing after falling victim to Malaysia's quota education system. With four kids to educate, my parents could not afford to send us all to overseas universities. Some of us would have to miss out. So we migrated to Australia to remedy the problem.

If I sound bitter, then too bad. There is nothing worse than to watch your parents grow old in a foreign land where they cannot fit in and do not understand the culture. The sheer loneliness they are experiencing is slowly killing them. I have the Malaysian government to thank for that.

Oh, by the way... Immigration Dept put a caveat on my passport to force me to go back to Malaysia.