I will be the first to stand accused. This is my fault. The ‘broken-ness’ of our people, a society mired in confusion and racism, where unheard Malaysians, everyday are condemned to the margins of society by those wielding their unstoppable and undeserved power. This is Malaysia. And this is my fault.

I am twenty years old. Twenty years. You may think it young, but to me that is a large chunk of time. What have I done in the past twenty years, to promote muhibbah in Malaysia? In twenty years, did I ever care to look out for the welfare of my poor Malay brethren?

How they felt, whether they were afraid and uncomfortable with the prospect of being left behind in our narrow-minded vision for progress forward?

And my suffering Indian sisters? Those widowed, abused or abandoned, left to fend for their broken families with barely a roof over their heads and scarcely enough food to feed their children? Did I ever stop and shout, ‘Wait, something is wrong here’ about my impoverished Chinese friends?

To those whose parents could not promise them their deserved brilliant futures because they weren't bumiputera or connected to well-connected people? I am thoroughly ashamed of myself, because the answer to all these questions is ‘no’.

I have not stood up for any Malaysian deprived of their human right to dignity. I have not fought for the muzzled victims of our entrenched and institutionalised corruption. My ears have been uninterested to those without a way to voice their interests.

I am embarrassed by my 'mind my own business' and 'what can I do lah?' attitude. In the past twenty years, these are the corrupt values that I have upheld and this is how I have contributed to this broken Malaysia. This is why it is my fault.

I accuse myself firstly because my elders - the ones who incessantly complain about the ‘broken-ness’ of Malaysia, the same ones that handed this broken country into my generation's hands - will not take blame for this illness in Malaysia.

My father and his friends, they sigh for every single innocent man condemned but say, 'What can we do lah?', erase it from their memory, then carry on with their merriment. My mother and her friends, they tell me this country may be beyond repair so it is better for me to get out. But what about those left behind?

And then they carry on with their lives, wondering how to get the latest model of luxury cars or how to get their hands on the latest shoes, or who to play golf with or should I send my children to a private school or overseas? So on and so forth.

These are the people who grumble at our corruption but will not lift a finger beyond their comfort zones to fight it. I quote James Madison, to say ‘What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on the people it governs?’

By that extension, I can say then that the common Malaysian is a corrupt swine, drunken by indulgent self-interests even at the expense of others. He is unconcerned with the well-being of those without privilege to even their basic rights; he has dulled his ears to the bribery and extortion committed.

Hiis eyes glaze across those suffering without justice and then he turns his mind away quickly and asks himself, ‘Now, in what ways can I make myself happier?’

Shame on me.

I have heard many hums and whispers these days of a brilliant bright future for us, promised by a saviour political messiah, of a freshly forged NEP, a separation of powers, an independent ACA, a two-party system, abolishing ISA and this or that or whatever.

I say this - neither by one dot or one drop will they add value to this country. They are all futile and superficial solutions; they merely give a facelift to Malaysia while doing nothing to address the deeper cancer that plagues the black heart of ours.

In a developed country, it is established that one man's injustice is everyone's injustice. But here in Malaysia, one man's injustice is ‘none of my business’.

It is not the evil men and women that are sinking this country down. No. It is the good men and women of Malaysia that continue in their own pure cocoons of comfort while all around them society is rotting apart.

We cannot afford to continue with this despicable attitude any longer. Because my elders were not wise enough or were too cowardly to say this, I must say it then:

It is my fault that for the past twenty years I have revered the God of Self-interest and silenced my conscience to the corruption that spirals all around me. Blame me, because my numbed heart and deaf ears has ignored the pain of those suffering silently in the dark.

Yes, accuse me of being a racist and heartless because I have not extended that unconditional care that I give freely to my family and friends to strangers beyond my race, creed or class who are in desperate need of it in this conditional country.

I will be the first to stand accused whether or not anyone chooses to stand with me.