COMMENT Religious fundamentalists assume that homosexuality is freely chosen, that it is deliberate and willful. This assumption is crucial in the logic of their condemnation of homosexuality, because if our sexual orientation is caused rather that chosen, then homosexuality cannot be immoral.

When gay people argue for homosexuality and assert that they cannot change, many people, especially religious fundamentalists, would ask if we can prove that we are born gay and that we cannot change.

NONE Their most frequent question is, where is the gay gene? Ironically enough, they never seek to look for a “straight gene” to legitimise heterosexuality. Why do they have no interest in looking for a “straight gene”? Obviously, heterosexuality is assumed to be the norm, regardless of whether one could find a gene or if that gene existed, but homosexuality is assumed to be the non-normative that needs to be explained.

If one could find the “gay gene,” one would have difficulty in arguing that homosexuality is against nature. Heterosexuality, however, has gone unexamined for a remarkably long while, as obviously and unquestionably natural, even if one cannot find the “straight gene.” Any reasonable person can see the problem in this line of reasoning.

Whether being gay is all genetic, I do not know. But one thing that I do know for sure is that, as a gay man, I know that I do not choose my sexual orientation, and I know that many other homosexuals would say the same.

I am not surprised at all that heterosexuals assert that they never chose heterosexuality as opposed to homosexuality. Who wants to choose to be gay in a homophobic society? Who in his or her right mind would want to be despised, mocked, subjected to physical beatings and even murder in some societies?

Sharing ‘secrets’ for the first time

When in 2006 I published my coming out story, many gay men in Malaysia, China, Hong Kong, and Taiwan wrote to me after reading my book and the news about it. They shared their stories and “secrets” with someone else for the very first time.

From their emails, I could tell that they were afflicted with self-hatred. They are married, have raised families simply because of the pressure from society, their parents, or from their religions, and have felt like freaks of nature by living a straight lifestyle that is against their nature.

homosexuality and lesbians symbols 240105 Some of them have thought of committing suicide. One of them even told me that he was planning a suicide that did not appear to be a suicide so that he would not shame his family. And he thanked me for writing my coming out story because he changed his mind after reading my book; he knew that he was not alone. I burst into tears as I read his email, for I knew, once again, we were not alone. Gay people are indeed everywhere.

Some religious fundamentalists would now say that being homosexual is not a problem, but engaging in homosexual behavior is. This line of argument suggests that many religions have changed their views on homosexuality, because people used to believe that homosexuals were evil, regardless of whether they engaged homosexual behaviors or not.

Most problematic in this is saying that while being homosexual or having homosexual desires the desire is not a problem, the behavior is. Does it make sense to say that it is not a problem to want to kill someone or even to plan to kill someone as long as you do not execute your plan?

Another question is, what are homosexual behaviors? If I assume that they are composed of oral sex and anal sex, the following question is why they are lumped together as “homosexual behaviors,” while many heterosexuals also engage in such behaviors?

I wonder if religious fundamentalists who hold this argument that “being homosexual is not a problem but the behavior is” really believe what they say. Are they ready to ordain openly homosexuals as long as they are celibate or if homosexuals promise not to engage in oral sex or anal sex with their partners? Would these people apply the same standard to heterosexuals? Do they monitor heterosexuals like moral police to see if anyone is engaging in oral or anal sex?

Liberationist politics

Whether being gay is morally wrong is actually not a very difficult question to answer. One who believes it to be so simply needs to articulate what is morally wrong with it. Whether being gay is due to nature or nurture should not be the question. Some gay activists prefer the biological approach by seeking to prove that sexual orientation is a genetic trait in order to support the gay-rights movement.

I am not against them. I prefer, however, a liberationist politics to one that upholds biological determinism. My question to homophobic individuals is simple, if homosexuality is wrong, just tell me what is so wrong with it, and I promise that I will not bother them by demanding a straight gene to prove the legitimacy of heterosexuality.

REV O YOUNG is an ordained Christian minister at MCC New York. He holds two masters degrees in both sociology and theology. Currently he lives in New York city and teaches sociology at St Peter’s College. He has published 20 books on sociology, theology and sexuality. He is also a columnist for Sin Chew Daily . He is currently finishing his doctoral degrees in sociology and theology.