COMMENT Growing up no one really escapes the squeeze of peer group pressure which often leads one astray into acquiring habits to be much regretted later in life.

I have always found peer pressure to be a rather interesting and at the same time, saddening topic. I myself have met people from all walks of life, and have endured heavy pressure.

I am confident that you, my lovely reader, have in some form, been a victim of peer pressure.

In my previous article, I wrote about the wonders of studying abroad. I applaud it, eulogised it, and recommended for everyone to experience it.

But as we all should know, all that glitters is not gold. Behind the sensation of becoming a global citizen, lie many hidden, sometimes dark, possible consequences.

Think of it this way: the surface of a lake could look so tranquil and beautiful, but down under, there could be tens of alligators just waiting to chew you up.

Let's kick this off with a personal experience of mine.

When I first arrived on campus in September 2010, there were several students who were often seen smoking behind the dormitories. As time passed, the number of smokers in the school grew drastically and by January 2011, roughly 90 percent of the student body is now chain smokers.

It honestly does twinge my heart because some of the 90 percent were my friends, and because of the need to feel secure, to fit in with the norm, they have resorted to picking up smoking because it was the ‘it' thing to do.

I myself have been offered cigarettes and alcohol on numerous occasions and I always said "No".

I have been invited to wild weekend parties, and my roommate is quite the party animal too. I am not a spoilsport. I do know how to have fun; I just choose to participate in events that will not damage my health and put my education at risk.

 No need to conform

This article is not going to be about me standing up to peer pressure. No, this article is directed at all the readers who are currently conforming to peer pressure, and I am here to tell you, you do not have to, and should not conform to other people's standards.

So, why do we conform?

We as human beings naturally feel the need to be accepted, loved and appreciated.

Every single one of us has emotions, and sometimes, the desire for company is monumental. Rejection hurts. We have all been there, done that; no one likes to be rejected. So what do we do?

We put our masks on and join the masquerade. We hide who we really are, and become someone we are not. Some people may feel comfortable doing so, and within time, forget their true selves.

They adopt this new personality that their group of so-called friends prefers. On the other hand, some others feel compressed, still unaccepted, and this leads to depression, and negative feelings of not being good enough and that no one ever wants you around.

Peer pressure is not emphasised enough. It is easy for one to give advice and say "Don't talk to them, don't listen to what they say, just be yourself," when you feel like being yourself is not good enough. I personally believe that peer pressure is a form of bullying. ‘Either be one of us, or we will dismiss you."

 Dear reader, if you are reading this right now, and if this article hits home, I want you to do something for me.

Go up to the nearest mirror, look in it. Do you recognise yourself? Silly question, but look deep into those beautiful eyes. Do you?

I cannot tell you what to do, or what to believe. You are your own person, you choose the path you wish, and you make your own decisions. That is all part of growing up, and becoming an adult. But what I can advise you, is to be an individual.

No need to be 'in'

It does not matter if you start off not having any friends in a new place, or if you have gone through months, even years of high school without many friends. It does not matter if you are dismissed by the ‘popular' crowd.

You are better off without them, and you know deep down you are. Focus on your studies, focus on your future. You might be made fun of for being a ‘nerd', a ‘geek' - whatever it is kids call each other nowadays.

But at least you won't be a clone.

At least, you have a future.

Be proud of who you are. Keep that chin up, smile, show off your pearly whites and sit upright. Stand tall, walk with pride and remember your focus and priorities.

You do not need excessive amounts of make-up to be beautiful. You do not need to smoke, drink or party to feel accepted. If that is your style of having fun, unwinding and relaxing after exams, by all means, do what you wish.

Just make sure it's what you want, not what others want you to do.

You do not need a large group of friends. Find people you are comfortable with, even one will do. It does get better.

When the going gets hard, get tough. The world is a cruel place and sometimes it will seem like it could never get better. I myself never thought I would find the friends I currently have.

Every cloud has a silver lining, and if you persevere, you are going to shine and stand out like the star you truly are.

 

ALLYSSA SULAIMAN is a 16-year-old student.