Malaysiakini: What were the real reasons for your dismissal from NST ?

Abdullah:

There were various reasons. Once a former head of our intelligence (agency) asked me, did you connive all this ... he's very clever, he knows me. Let's stick to the official explanation.

The only thing I told Pak Lah (Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi) in my letter to him was that he had every right to sack me. It was his prerogative, I don't mind. But I told him that what surprised me was the speed in the decision, and it happened on the eve of Hari Raya ... otherwise, it was okay.

And of course, they said that I support (then Umno vice-president) Najib (Abdul Razak) too much. I don't think so. I knew that Najib was going to be the deputy prime minister all this time.

I told (Umno vice-president) Muhyiddin (Yassin), he might as well forget about that (being deputy prime minister). I saw him for almost two hours with his brother who knows me, and they said ... well, he (wanted to) justify their case. I said, don't waste your time, it was going to be Najib.

I was so convinced of it. Don't ask me the reason. If I were so convinced of it, why did I keep on writing, and why did I made, as somebody said, a fatal speech in Ipoh (supporting Najib). I don't think it was a fatal speech. Because sometime, you have to keep reminding the people, they tend to forget sometime.

Of course, there were a lot of people who were not comfortable with me around Pak Lah, but Pak Lah has no difficulty with me. I know Pak Lah's family for a long time. I went to Hong Kong to talk about his administration (just before the sacking) - that was the irony of it - I said this man if given a chance, he can be a man with 'external stuff', he can, blah, blah... the irony was that I became the first victim of his 'external stuff'...

For somebody who has been sacked, do I look unhappy... I can still laugh, even I don't think (Umno's Pasir Mas ex-division chief) Ibrahim Ali can laugh like I did, and he was not even sacked but dropped.

So you don't harbour any bitterness.

No, I don't harbour any evil feelings towards anybody. I have no malice against anybody. The only thing I sometime said, ... "oh my god, I'm going to lose a lot of money." ( New ) Straits Times gave me a lot ... NST gave me half of the (building's) floor for my office - private bathroom, private dining, two secretaries, two chauffeurs, and all that. That I miss a bit. I am quite used to it. I maintain my own. Of course, it is easier to be paid by others, now I am dipping into my own reserve.

But I am not bitter. Now I do what I like, spend a lot of time reading, spend a lot of time with my grandchildren, meeting old friends. I go to Kelantan quite often now, and I go to Kedah - the battleground (for the March 21 general election).

Najib is the best (for the DPM job) under the current circumstances. That's why I supported him. I supported him not hoping to get anything from him. He has never given me anything. I don't think he will ever give me anything in return also. I supported him because he is the best of the present lot. I supported him partly because I think he will be like his father.

But I took a big risk (by backing Najib). My friends, my family, everybody except a few, told me I was stupid to take so much risk. But that was the decision I made. People said "why you antagonise Muhyiddi". Of course, (Umno vice-president Muhd) Muhammad Taib was okay because he was not in the running. Muhyiddin spent two hours at (Seri) Carcosa to tell me to be neutral.

But I am at the same time not impressed by Najib. That's the price I have to pay. I make enemy one side, not impressed the other side. And getting sacked for that ... I make that decision because I believe in God, and I do good things for people. If people don't do good things for me ... my conscience is clear. If given the chance, I will still support Najib.

You don't know who are your enemies, you don't know who are your friends. In front of you, they are all nice to you. I know who are my friends and my enemies... after (second prime minister Abdul) Razak's death, after my short foray in the corporate world, now I know who are my friends. And I know who are my enemies.

But Najib doesn't know because has never fought all his life. He's installed. We installed him as the youngest MP, etc.

Why you prefer Najib over Muhyiddin?

I know Najib better than I know Muyhiddin. Najib is able to better represent Malaysia at the international stage. He speaks good English. Muhyiddin speaks good English also. But Najib speaks with better accent [laughs].

While I know Najib better, it's not necessary that I am closed to Najib. I got to know (Najib's father) Razak in 1954, when I was at the Malay College (Kuala Kangsar). Najib was three, four years old, and I have seen him growing up. So I can read Najib.

What have you achieved in NST ?

My contract was four years. The first year was as an advisor and executive director, no editorial control, though I managed to do a few things here and there and write editorials on the (militant religious sect) al-Ma'unah.

Then after (ex-finance minister) Daim (Zainuddin) left, in 2001, I signed a new contract. That meant that I was number one, and also the managing director. I almost had absolute power there. That was supposed to be for three years. It only went for two years, then I was sacked.

But having said that, I managed to reduce the ( NST's ) debt from RM1.3 billion to RM400 million, and put (the company) back in black - not much profit, only RM9 million in my first year - without changing people.

I just motivated people, though people said through fear, but I motivated people. I was not hands-on. I was busy writing my articles and editorials. I only looked after the front page, editorials - and letters to editor, I see a bit. I gave the perimeters.

I was happy when I left the NST, I managed to stabilise the (fall in) circulation. It went up eight percent overall. But the circulation now, I understand, is coming down.

Over the few years you were in NST , do you get pressure from the top?

Not (ex-prime minister Dr) Mahathir (Mohamad). He called me a few times, but normally to discuss things. And he wrote me a long letter once - 16 pages. Whatever people say about Mahathir, he never tell me what to do and what not to do.

I knew that he was upset about one article about Kedah (about state Umno chief Syed Razak Syed Zin). He asked me what was my agenda. I wrote him a long letter. I said I didn't write it - it was done not on my authority but I took full responsibility.

The thing about Mahathir I am very fond of is that you can disagree without being disagreeable. He knew that but he didn't interfere. He never said 'don't do this, don't do that'. People thought I will get the sack after interviewing (PAS president Abdul) Hadi (Awang).

I knew a lot of people were unhappy... I knew a few ministers complained to him (Mahathir)... I didn't know what he said, but I knew he was never really upset with me. He told me, "Dollah, be careful." That was all. Because he knows me.

Tomorrow: How Umno will fare in the polls

Yesterday: Axed NST editor: I'm not crossing over to PAS