COMMENT Muslim men who miss Friday congregational prayers will be paraded in a hearse through town, said Terengganu religious authorities and Menteri Besar Ahmad Razif Abdul Rahman, according to the mainstream media.

 

And just like that, questions come rushing into my head, for I am a Muslim and worry if my son, brother or father decides to skip Friday prayers in Terengganu.

 

First question: Is this only for Terengganu residents only? How would that be ascertained - by one’s address in MyKad?

 

How would officers of the religious authority be nabbing them? Wouldn’t the Terengganu Islamic Affairs and Malay Customs Council (Maidam) officers be at prayers themselves too?

 

How then would they be nabbing offenders elsewhere if they are praying at the mosques? Or would the officers be nabbing them while praying? Can they be in two places at the same time?

 

Will we then be witnessing out of the body experiences here?

 

Or perhaps, the officers may be all women? That would mean it is not compulsory for them to attend Friday prayers.

 

But then again questions arise as to how a woman officer would nab a man?

 

You see, Terengganu has strict laws on indecency in public too especially khalwat (a man and woman together in close proximity).

 

Would the woman officer then be deemed indecent should she lay her hands on a man not observing Friday prayers when nabbing him? Would she be wearing gloves then, so that she does not touch her non muhrim ?

 

Or would the officer have to go find a muhrim of the man not praying and then get her to nab the man not observing Friday prayers?

Mind-boggling logistic puzzle

 

It really puzzles me how this policing is going to work in practice.

 

Perhaps Terengganu is really advanced in science that they have robot moral police.

 

Then the robots would have to be programmed to differentiate gender, but in Malaysia, the proportions of the bodies can be quite similar.

 

Also how would the robot sniff out a Muslim playing hokey on Friday prayers? Would it be by dress, headgear or colour? Or maybe the robot may be scanning their MyKads?

 

As to the hearse that will used - would the arrested one be placed lying down or seated? Would he be inside the coffin or shrouded like the Muslim deceased prepared for burial? Would the doors of the hearse be closed?

 

One must remember, most Muslim hearse vans are plain white with either no windows or fully tinted ones.

 

How much will the driver of the hearse be paid and how many rounds would he have to make to teach the "errant Muslim" before he repents?

 

Ah, the questions that just come to mind when one hears of the Terengganu government's preposterousness in claiming to uphold Islam!

 

 

ZAKIAH KOYA is a member of the Malaysiakini team.