SATIRE Dear Malaysiakini and my fellow readers, may the supreme power bless you wherever you are, and may you all have a very happy New Year to boot!

As 2015 drew to a close, I have put my analytical skills to the task of combing out the top nine political euphemisms of the year.

This is based on the colloquial use of words that have been prevalent in Malaysian politics all year long.

Indeed, we have gotten to know such words in the colloquial sense, and indeed in the biblical sense as well.

Such is the measure of how much our politicians and government love us. They love us to death each and every day.

Maybe one day though, the idioms will make their way even into the Oxford dictionary.‎ Malaysia Boleh!

In any case, here they are, for your perusal and pleasure:

Eat turtle egg

Meaning: When a person does something embarrassing which has an impact on his or her image or career.

Usage: He accidentally reversed into his boss' car when he was leaving office that day. He ate turtle egg, lah.

Eat egg with cutlery

Meaning: Trying to cover up an offence, especially with lame excuses.

Usage: You think I don't know that it was you who rammed into my car? Don't eat egg with cutlery, lah. How can the office cat reverse your car? Don't lie, meh.

Hold two job‎s

Meaning: Talking rubbish or saying something that does not make sense.

Usage: What do you mean there are two moons? We have only one lah. You holding two jobs or what?

What the donation (also WTD)

Meaning: Expressing surprise over something that is strange, big, or improbable.

Usage: What the donation! Cardiff Dragons beat Manchester United 9-0!

‎ Appoint a smiling CEO

Meaning: Sugarcoating something or trying to cover up a matter with misdirection or excuses.

Usage: Don't appoint a smiling CEO. I saw you checking into the hotel with your ex. Banyak la she is your niece.

Wake up early

Meaning: When someone who is a cheapskate or is trying to save money, does all kinds of things to avoid spending money.

Usage: Aiyo! He sanggup drive all the way to Klang just to buy cheaper bread. Wake up early betul.

Sell to China

Meaning: Taking the easy way out from a problem, though it may have costs.

Usage: Haiya! I should not have sold to China when trying to change my money into pounds. Asking Ah Long to change for me is easy, but he charged a higher rate.

Wa Bok Sit, Lu Soh Rich

‎Meaning: A phrase spoken by victims of exploitation in resignation of their fate.

Usage: Wa Bok Sit Lu Soh Rich. Aiseh... we work hard but only the bosses make money, we only get paid peanuts.

Highway toll

Meaning: Something that has no limit, or can go up and up and up and up, without stopping.

Usage: He is so rich one. I hear he got a highway toll credit card! No credit limit one; can even go into the millions.

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