For well-nigh 21 years, former national player Matlan Marjan moved like a ghostly apparition in the realm of football, forced to inhabit the purgatory of a lifelong ban from participation in the sport because of his bribery conviction two decades earlier.

Unable to attain corporeal form and openly traverse the football landscape, the former Sabah football player was forced to hide his involvement when training the Kota Belud district football team.

In essence, he is like a poltergeist, invisibly moving and shaking things by sharing his knowledge, wisdom and expertise in the sport with young football players in the district, without officially being seen.

"I trained the team for the Liga Bola Sepak Rakyat (People's Football League), our team qualified for the nationals. But my name cannot be officially recorded as the coach," Matlan lamented.

This year will mark 21 years that the former national footballer and five others from the Sabah team being indicted by FAM over the infamous 1994/1995 match-fixing and bribery scandal.

Though the national football governing body, the Football Association of Malaysia (FAM), has pardoned 78 others who were involved in the scandal, for the six from Sabah, their case will be referred to the world football federation, Fifa, before it is decided if they will continue to be banned or pardoned like the others.

The other five former Sabah players who faced the same fate are Matusin Bowie, Junaidy Tuah, Gerald Mojiliu, G Raveychandran and Charles Tindi.

For Matlan, the lifelong ban up until now did not manage to sever his connections with the world of football, for the game has become a part of his flesh and blood, he told Malaysiakini.

Indeed Matlan's legacy and skill in the sport is being continued by his brother Zainizam Marjan, who plays for the Sabah and national teams.

"The punishment not only blocked me form continuing my career, but stopped me from being involved in anything to do with the sport officially. It is quite a burden," lamented Matlan, a native of Kota Belud.

'Football and me cannot be separated'

But despite the ban, Matlan who is now 48 years old, said that he will still continue to play a role in developing the sport at the local level.

"From the start of the ban, I never left football, and followed its development. Football and me cannot be separated, which was why I encouraged my brother and my son to become footballers as well," he explained.

However, he lamented that his status as someone with a lifelong ban on his head has caused him to be perceived negatively by the public.

"Sometimes I can't even organise friendly matches. There are complaints and even prohibitions. As if a man cannot change.

"Even a criminal who is sentenced to life in prison will eventually be pardoned and released," he argued.

The recent pardon of others indicted for bribery has given him hope that he can shake off the ghostly coils and no longer have to walk invisible as a ghost in the realm of football.

"At least we can regain our dignity. Whether to continue to be in football or not is beside the point. But at least we can share the hardships we faced with the new generation.

"We have felt it, so we can relate to others so that they will not do the same. It is more effective if we (who were involved and punished) be the one to advise the others.

"Because we have lived through it, it serves as a lesson that we can share with the present generation," Matlan said.

And now, with the end to the ban on him possibly in sight, he only awaits FAM's decision after referring his case to Fifa.

"Whatever the case, I thank FAM for what they are doing. I hope that I will be given another chance to taste freedom (in football) again," he concluded.