February 2005

Shariah Courts. Kuala Lumpur.

"So you're in the same boat as me, huh? Your first...? Good, good. What's wrong with young men nowadays, don't they appreciate educated young girls like you? Lain lah Kakak ni. I'm old, fat, I have children. Huh. You have children, no use also. My eldest is always failing exams. My daughter is gedik . But she follows her father, very flirtatious.

So why are you getting a divorce? Why is he divorcing you? Oh. You're divorcing him? Is this something new? Cerai kuluq ? Fasakh I have heard. But I'm uneducated you know. How would I know all this? Hah - been round the block three times and I still haven't learned anything yet.

You have a lawyer? You must be rich. Lawyers cost money. But you're educated, you can afford one. I have to make do with the Biro, they assign free lawyers to poor people like me. My second divorce, one of them came to the house with his wife. I was thankful, Alhamdullilah, there is someone to defend me!

We talked about my case you know. Then a week later he asked me to be his downline. Can you imagine! He was in this network marketing thing! Like Amway, Luxor tu. But his company tu , not famous! I gave it back to him - preying on poor women like me. I even cursed his wife. Making a living off poor people. But I'm sure your lawyer is good. Sometimes it is better to pay. You get free, you get monkeys.

(Silence)

You know, Dik. Don't end up like me, thinking that a man will love and care for you. I married three times, and they were all the same! What's so good about marriage? You may end up with stupid children like mine... you know Dik. The second and third time, I was Number Three.

I did it because I wanted it to be legal in the eyes of God. I may be stupid but I have religion in me. Cheh. If I were you, I'd stay unmarried and have lots of boyfriends. I'd break hearts. Sins are between you and God, no?

Frankly, Dik, marriage isn't a great institution. Kakak rasa kahwin ni nak halalkan zina je ."

Glossary

Kakak - Older sister

Gedik - flirtatious

Dik - Little sister/brother

Kakak rasa kahwin ni nak halalkan zina je. - I feel marriage is to legalise sex only.

DINA ZAMAN lives in Kuala Lumpur with her family.