SATIRE | On the day celebrating the 100th anniversary of Malaysia Day 2063, the Supreme Minister of the Supreme Pakatan, the nation’s newest governing coalition of parties, surprised the nation by declaring an extra week of public holidays to celebrate the success of two sacred national missions.

The first completed mission was related to the recent survey finding of the Kementerian Tatanegara (until 2020 known as Biro Tatanegara) that over 90 per cent of the nation's citizens agree with the declaration: “I am bumiputra first and Malaysian second”.

Covering a sample of citizens over the age of 16, the survey's finding was announced over the government media stations, Berita and TV Mal-gibberish. According to the Supreme Minister, this sentiment - putting ethnicity above all other considerations in the national identity - had been advocated by the political giants of the country's history since independence.

But in the first 60 years after Merdeka, advocates of the “bumiputra first” movement had to go on the defensive by the fake news liberal lobby that dominated social media. Many of the early nationalist supporters of the movement could not openly propagate their views for fear of being labelled as “ultras”...