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"Tepuklah dada, tanyalah selera."

I really, truly, honestly have no idea what this thing means. Yet I come across people saying it all the time. It makes me seriously wonder about its etymology - what does the chest/breast have anything to do with sussing out what you desire?

Asking the people who like to utter it is no help. They don't even realise how silly it sounds until you bring it up. (You know how, when you were young, you'd say a word againandagainandagain endlessly and suddenly it turns into something completely alien? Same stark effect here.)

Now, if the line had said, "Squeeze your breast and ask what you desire", then maybe there is a semblance of... I dunno... sixth sense reasoning or something. And if it was a man doing the squeezing to a woman's breast, well, now we're actually getting somewhere.

But it doesn't say "squeeze", it says "slap". Maybe the chest is actually a tool, a method of tapping into the ether that surrounds us, in the same way a forked stick can be used to divine the presence of water. Maybe if you thumped your breasts repeatedly your nipples will act like some kind of divining rod to tell you what you should do. I mean, what do I know, right.

So, being naturally curious, I tried it out myself. I wasn't sure whether to have tea or coffee one day so I stood in front of the mug, thumped my chest and waited.

Nothing.

Then I thumped again, three times (for good luck), and a little harder this time.

Nada.

So I whacked my chest several times. And all I got was a coughing fit.

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